Hutsoneister

to resolve or not to resolve?

2012-01-02T12:22:00.003-06:00

i have never been a big fan of making new year's resolutions. as long as i can remember. call it rebellion against the conventional or trying to be out-of-the-box or non-conformist or avoiding the trendy thing. possibly all of the above. and it's possible that in the last 3-5 years i hated the idea of making resolutions more than ever because i felt more despondent about my lack of progress in every aspect of life, so the idea of trying to set goals i might actually be accountable to overwhelmed me. luckily, i wore the rebellious-nonconformist-untrendy thing like a badge of honor which cleverly disguised my despondency. so so cunning.

about 3 years ago i wondered if maybe i hit my personal peak as a college student. athletically, intellectually, socially, and professionally i was a bright and shiny star of energy and potential as a 21 year old. aren't we all? it would forever be the measure against which i compared myself. as an adult, in my post-collegiate years, i felt overwhelmingly that i wasted all of that potential. i walked away from my dream of teaching in the inner-city because i was afraid to go out and pursue that dream alone. what kind of person does not fear danger but fears being alone? i've never been afraid of the conventionally terrifying things. but i was afraid to go after my dream. and that made me feel like a disastrous failure for years. i allowed my teaching certificate to expire, which felt like a stab in my heart after all of the hard work i put into earning that license. i gradually became squidgier and softer and less of a bad ass athlete, but no less competitive, which only made the pain of losing my athleticism more acute. my identity as "one of the guys", sporty-mendy, runner-girl was in jeopardy and i was floundering without my sense of self. i put more and more distance between myself and other people to shield myself from embarrassment, judgment, and the overwhelming compulsion to compare myself to others that seemed to be getting "it" right. damn the 21 year old mendy. she was making my life a misery, the memory of her.

i am fortuitous, however, to have a scrappy personality that is able to bend without breaking. i may not be a resolution-setter but i know how to put one foot in front of the other and walk uphill into a strong wind. the first "step" was getting my teaching license reinstated, second "step" masters program in special education, third "step" applying in KCK, fourth accepting the EBD teaching position at Washington High, fifth, 6th, 7th... opening myself up to dreaming again, to loving my students, to finding my "home" at Washington, learning from and befriending coworkers, leaning into the good things, completing my masters, and giving a damn about being better at my job everyday that i'm there. amazing what momentum that created for me.

next big step has been my journey this past year, reclaiming my sporty self. starting to run again and rediscovering that i'm actually pretty good at it! doing my first half marathon in almost 4 years and not allowing my progress to fizzle into smoldering embers the weeks after the race. getting stronger, faster, slimmer, more confident, less anxious about EVERYTHING.

so, no, i usually don't make new year's resolutions. i just try to make forward progress, however small the step. i'm generally pretty good at setting goals for myself throughout the year, short-term and long-term goals, professional goals, personal goals, goals for reading, goals for cooking goals for dressing better for work, goals for making it to that next block on a run, goals for running 5 miles, 6 miles, 8 miles without stopping, goals to not look at the clock when running on the treadmill or not look at the clock when at work, goals for positive interactions with students, redefining my goals when i've failed, reevaluating the appropriateness of the goal... i make a lot of goals. so if you must know, i resolve to continue with the same progress that i've been on for the past year. i resolve to reinstate my 2o-minutes-a-day-of-cleaning plan now that my house has been massively cleaned from top to bottom during this break. i resolve to keep running because of that guy i saw in the gym that could barely walk but he was there and he was trying! i resolve to keep returning to the path after i've strayed from it (henri nouwen-ism). so happy new year.

what have i been up to?

2011-12-30T22:45:00.009-06:00

i apologize for the irregular blogging! i've discovered facebook and twitter and work full time and run and watch sports (football and basketball season overlapping causes me to double my daily sports-intake if you can imagine!) and hang out with friends and it's all just a lot to do, isn't it? well, so i figure it's time for me to recap what i've been up to... using pictures!

first up, the annual hutson's holiday breakfast for my students. they were so excited about it, they could not stop asking me all week, "ms. hutson, are you really going to bring food for us on friday? really? can i help cook? can we put peppers and turkey in the eggs? and cheese? can we have cheese? can you get cranberry juice too?" it was great. it was a completely normal time with students that i don't often have "normal" with. they took over the griddles, served each other, asked to help clean up, plugged their laptops into my speakers to play music for the whole group... very festive atmosphere and i LOVED it.

after celebrating my students, it was time for me to partake in my OWN celebrations:

going to see KSU beat #21 Alabama at the Sprint Center:

and celebrating the end of the 1st semester with my awesome co-workers... with epic breakfast (for dinner!):

and then some quality time and a rousing game of settlers of catan with my good friend Katie, her husband, Micah, and Kirk:

during the break, we had a lot of great time with friends and family and also a lot of time in the car (b00). but at least we had good music (what i'm listening to lately: gungor, quiet corral, the black keys, the head and the heart, the civil wars, mumford and sons, vintage waterdeep, and vintage mariah carey christmas album). got to see all of my cousins and their spouses on my my mom's side (the kinder family) for the first time in a long time! and spent some time with kirk's side of the family and the rundle family, singing and playing piano. also spent time with some good friends and felt like my heart was just filled up!

so, this weekend my brother and sister and brother's girlfriend will be home for a late buchheister family christmas and then next week it is back to school! i will follow up with more photos from my family time... hopefully! i'm just so busy, there's a lot of football and basketball to be watched...

food journaling... a year later

2011-11-30T19:36:00.004-06:00

i'm not sure how many of you know this about me, but last year before thanksgiving break i decided to start keeping track of the food i ate in a food journal. it's been a year and i've decided to share my some insights i've discovered about myself in the past year. do you want to hear the end results now or should i save that for later? hmmm, i think i'll save that. you'll just have to read on, i suppose.

so, here's the background info:

i was athletic in high school and college, loved running and playing soccer, and never had to be "careful" about food. i gained weight so very gradually during college and post-college that i didn't ever experience any major "warning signs." i remember taking nutrition class at KSU and keeping a food log for a week and thinking that pastaroni and bagels were healthy foods. what the what?? hahaha! delusions of a sporty-girl addicted to carbs! so, over the course of the 8-10 years after high school i steadily gained weight and found myself frustrated, annoyed, and embarrassed. frustrated because i really did NOT want to inconvenience myself with having to be thoughtful about what i ate or having to workout to maintain weight instead of just enjoying it. annoyed because i could not do what i used to be able to do physically and, as you all know, i'm highly competitive, with myself especially. so that was a problem. and embarrassed because so much of my confidence, what i liked about myself, was my athleticism, my sporty-girl identity, and a high level of activity. i was even a personal trainer, but kept gaining weight throughout the entire time i was employed as a trainer. it was embarrassing.

the necessary kick-in-the-ass:

so last year i was playing indoor soccer 2-3 times a week for a few hours, which i loved. but i ended up with a stress fracture in my hip that left me unable to run or do anything high impact for 6 weeks to several months. i was so discouraged when i discovered this because i was barely maintaining my weight and now i would not be able to maintain my high activity level. it turns out that was exactly the kick in the pants that i needed! i decided to find an online food journal. it was the week before thanksgiving and i felt like a crazy person for starting to track food right before holidays, but i thought, "what have i got to lose?"

the so-laid-back-it-can't-be-mendy-buchheister/hutson's-plan plan:

1. so, for the first week of tracking food, i allowed myself to continue to eat what had become "normal" for me so that i would get an accurate picture of the situation.

2. i set a weight loss goal for myself for the next year that i felt was both ambitious and achievable. i calculated that to lose 30 lbs in a year i would need to average about .6 lb weight loss per week. that is not unreasonable when you break it down that way, in my opinion. but it was crazy to think that in a year's time i would be back to the weight i was in 2002! the online food journal automatically calculates the net total of calories to consume in a day based on my height, weight, and weight loss goal of .6 lb per week. it was not unreasonable, so i was feeling optimistic.

3. i made a rule for myself that i would make NO rules for myself other than to daily log my food. this was big for me, because i'm a rule-follower to a fault and i didn't want to set myself up for devastation by creating a list of food do's and don'ts right before the holidays. in fact the only other rule i adopted was that i was allowed to have a binge day once per week. more on that later.

4. i anticipated the glitches. i knew that perfectionistic me would overanalyze and stress over how accurate the calories were and i just decided to let it bother me for the first week or so and then get over it! i figured that even if the online tracker wasn't 100% accurate, i was still doing something to monitor the food i consume which is better than nothing. i also knew that i may plateau and not have weight loss that looked like a perfect negatively trending graph. i knew that regular exercise was going to be tough with the stress fracture and then the stress of school... all potential obstacles.

the craziest part of the whole experience is how much my anxiety over food/appearance/weight decreased almost immediately. by anticipating glitches it took the surprise attack element away from any obstacle that i encountered. by giving myself a binge day it took away the stress of a "bad" eating day that normally would have turned into a bad eating month for me. i didn't have guilt or shame over a binge day because i had planned to have one. so, the next day i was able to get back on the proverbial horse instead of flogging myself with the guilt! i didn't stress over periods of slow or no progress because i knew that i was doing all the right things and that it would eventually work itself out. i didn't stress about how long it would take me to lose weight because i could relish the idea of the next milestone (i remember thinking, "i can't believe that by my birthday i will have lost 10 lbs!" or "by summer i will be feeling so much better!"). i didn't cut anything out of my diet, still enjoyed eating out, drinking soda, and other favorites, but just didn't overdo it. if you're reading this still, you probably know me well, which means you probably know how big of a stress-ball i am almost every minute of every day of my entire life. so, you understand how big of a deal it was to have all of that ANXIETY lifted off of me. i think that i lost the first 10 lbs in anxiety alone. not using hyperbole, i'm sure it's a scientific fact, sure of it.

from march to may i saw almost zero progress. the stressy mendy would have freaked out, but i reminded myself that it was the most stressful time of the school year which is probably having an impact on the #'s. i told myself that i would reevaluate at the beginning of summer and kick the workouts into a higher gear. so, over the summer i started running a little bit for the first time since the stress fracture, enjoying running trails which kept me injury free, and i swam almost every day at the outdoor pool, which i loved because it was like being a kid again (shout out to manhattan city pool!). by the time the school year started in august i finally felt like i was starting to SEE a difference. after getting back on track with weight loss over the summer, i plateaued again for the first 2 months of school, but i started training for a half marathon again (something i hadn't done in 3.5 years!), and could feel myself getting stronger and healthier. even though i did not lose lbs during that time i really started to notice a difference in the fit of my clothes, so that's fun!

the end results:

i ran my first half marathon since 2008 on november 20. i did not hit a PR by any means, BUT i felt so much more fit from this training than i had for the previous 5 half marathons i had done. i was more disciplined and consistent during this training than ever before. AND i made myself a plan for maintaining the long distances starting the week immediately after the event. always before i was so exhausted after the half that i wouldn't do anything for weeks afterwards, then i'd have to start back from scratch. well, not this time! not only do i feel more fit, but i've had basically no knee problems, no shin splints, no plantar fasciitis, etc. awesome!

secondly, i did manage to lose 25-30 lbs in the last year, just like i had set out to do! i was not sure if i was going to hit that goal or not, but i had determined not to beat myself up over it if i didn't because for a whole year i was faithful to the food journal and i only made forward progress or plateaued, never gained any weight, not even 1 lb. in the end, though, i came really darn close to the goal and am continuing on with my next goal for the next year. so, i'm feeling really pretty good.

i know weight is such a sensitive issue and it's hard not to sound braggy when we talk about our successes. but i'm pretty proud of the progress i've made and feel like i learned some valuable insights about myself. so, i thought i'd share.

i'm a choir nerd...

2011-10-05T21:35:00.002-05:00

...so, of course, i am loving the new season of "the sing off" on NBC. you may remember my obsession with committed.

hey people. this is why high school arts programs are important. because they give kids the chance to become this...

and this...

good stuff.

bathroom reno

2011-10-02T20:27:00.006-05:00

really i just like to talk about renovating the bathroom but avoid actually doing any work. but, someday i will get around to the bathroom reno and then it will be beautiful. i'm going to share the plan with you all, plus some pictures that are the inspiration for my future bathroom, and maybe you can help me make some decisions.

here's my inspiration:

i like black and white complimented with BRIGHT colors (fiery orangey-reds, or limey/lemony yellow). i want black walls, but will probably do white bead-board or subway tiles 3/4 up the wall so it won't be super dark. we'll definitely paint the clawfoot tub black around the outside. love that. i like white towels but let's be realistic, they'll stay white for about 3 minutes. so, i'll probably find bright towels, maybe even some pattern. i'll know it when i see it. here are 3 inspiration bathrooms, all pretty similar. the medicine cabinet we have is identical to the ones in the first two pics and the train rack i want to get is similar to that in the 3rd photo.

so here's the plan:

*gut the whole bathroom and put in new drywall, lighting, electrical, and rearrange the plumbing.

*install new window.

*paint door/frame white.

*put in craigslist clawfoot tub, pedestal sink, and metal cabinet for storage. reuse existing toilet. purchased old fashioned looking medicine cabinet from restoration hardware. use gift certificate from RH to purchase a "train rack" for towel storage.

*still need:

1. lighting. probably will do recessed lights plus one or two sconces either above or on either side of the medicine cabinet.

2. fixtures for shower (see right), hand towel hook or ring, toilet paper holder, and a door knob. probably will buy new except for the door knob (want a cool vintage glass knob, i think).

3. flooring (maybe tiny hexagonal tiles, white with a few black added in as was customary in most bathrooms from 1930's bungalow homes or hardwood painted a glossy white).

4. decide whether we want to do white subway tiles partway up the wall or nothing but paint. what do you guys think? see inspiration pics above.

we also need to decide on a layout. it's a tiny bathroom, so not a lot of options.

here's how the layout is currently but more awful because the ugly counter top stretches the whole length of the wall where the sink is:

here's another option:

and here's my favorite option so far:

i feel like this 3rd option hides the ugly toilet but also gives us the most space around the sink. my tall light blue metal cabinet will sit across from the toilet for storage and the train rack will likely hang right above the toilet.

thoughts? suggestions?

conversations

2011-09-14T19:13:00.003-05:00

in the past two days, i've had some tough conversations with students. tough, but good, i think. working in public school is challenging in so many ways, one of which is that we have all of these pressures and academic standards, and this high calling to push our students to academic excellence, but yet, sometimes life just gets in the way of those things, as important as they are. i sometimes catch myself inadvertently pushing away opportunities to slow down for a much-needed conversation because there's this need to hurry kids to class, make sure they don't miss instruction, can't take any extra time, go, go, go... anyway, i'm glad i slowed down for these moments:

i talked to a student who was coping with a difficult milestone, the 1-year anniversary of a best friend's suicide. the student shared about their friendship, built on the common ground of abuse suffered, her friend's heartache upon discovering she was pregnant at 14, and the moment that she learned of her friend's death. we talked about what it means to be strong, that it's ok to grieve, but also ok to be grateful for her own strength and life. i challenged her to help re-write her friend's daughter's life story, to make it a happy, joyful story, and to watch out for her friend's daughter so that she would not have to go through the same sorrows that her young mom experienced in her short life. there's no way to undo what this student has experienced already in her life, but at the very least, i want to LISTEN to her story.

today, i had a chance to talk to another student. he's been in the foster system forever, moved from home to home, has a behavior disorder which means he's a "high needs" placement. this means he's probably felt unwanted in most situations because he can be, frankly, difficult. i have a lot of students in this same situation: their transcripts are a mess, they are usually credit deficient, because they are moved frequently, change schools several times a year, they have no healthy relationships or attachments to anyone, they have no family or friends, just "workers" (case workers, therapists, psychiatrists, judges, POs, teachers... professionals, in other words). they have experienced pretty horrendous childhood traumas resulting in removal from their home. they come with a variety of mental health issues: PTSD, RAD (reactive attachment disorder - failure to form normal attachments due to abuse, neglect, etc), bipolar disorder, fetal alcohol syndrome, ADHD, ODD (oppositional defiance disorder), conduct disorder... the list goes on. i've noticed some of my male students with RAD seem to just be severely detached... they talk about extremely heartbreaking situations in a very impersonal, unaffected way. anyway, this student today walked into my room because he has basically given up on trying now that he knows he's being moved again. he talked, unemotionally, about the list of procedures and consequences he'll likely face when he's transferred: drug treatment, probation, probably some time in JDC. i said to him, "it sounds like a bunch of consequences that don't mean anything to you." he said, "they can't do anything to me, there's nothing they can take from me, i already have nothing." he wasn't upset, just very, very candid. we talked about his perspective, what he thinks is wrong with the system, what he would do differently; he thinks re-integration with families should be the rule, not the exception. i asked him if he thought there were any circumstances in which a kid should not be re-integrated. i asked him if he thought he had been spared anything difficult by his parents' rights being severed. he said, "whatever it may have saved me from, my life still ended up being crap." i asked him if this experience has made him consider what he will do differently when he's on his own. he talked about not wanting kids until he's older, he's had some life experiences of his own, has some stability, so that kids won't seem like a burden to him or he won't resent them. my goals in this whole conversation were to validate his perspective, to get him to speak on a more personal level (hard for some kids with RAD), and to speak to him as one adult to another. you know, the reality is that people who work with foster kids aren't bad people, i know that in some cases there is just no good answer. when you are faced with leaving a kid in a dangerous situation or removing them from their family, that's not a good choice to have to make. but, it doesn't matter what the reality is, what the truth is, what matters is HIS perception of what has happened to him, because it is that perception of his experience that is shaping who he is and who he will become. he's going to have difficulty in all of his relationships for the rest of his life because he went from one terrible childhood experience straight into somewhat less-terrible-but-not-great foster homes. and, sadly, some foster homes are as abusive as the homes kids are removed from to begin with. it takes a lot more than one conversation and a few weeks of a "relationship" with a kid to make a difference, but my only hope is that he felt that i listened to him, i respected his opinion, and that there was no where else i wanted to be at that moment than having that conversation with him. should i have tried harder? should i have forced the conversation a certain way, to advise him, to try to say some comforting words? how can we ever know what is the right thing to do or say in any moment? i don't know. i'm always unsure of myself. but, i felt like it was such a delicate moment, like if i tried too hard, said too much, i might disrupt it, kill it. so, i held back and reset my expectations. i think that is ok, too.

well, that's all for now. just wanted to share.

couch time

2011-08-29T20:36:00.005-05:00

a friend of mine calls it "couch time"... that time when you just need to sit and pour out your thoughts and worries and listen to sage or sympathetic advice. i like that term. i'm pilfering the term.

anyway, this week's "couch time" for me came in the package of another goodie from isaac anderson of jacob's well. this time about joy. this is good for me to hear. i'm not good at joy. my two primary thoughts when listening to this, however, were:

1. joy doesn't have to be the ONLY thing i am able to feel at once. i know, i know, joy isn't really a feeling, but for the sake of this thought of mine, let's just run with it. anyway, a person is capable of experiencing joy and fear, joy and sadness, joy and heartache, trouble, worry, grief, weariness, etc at once. because joy is less about all things being ok and more about experiencing all things WHILE simultaneously walking with jesus, who gives us full lives. lives that are full of all of those emotions and experiences and yet still we live.

2. isaac references a biblical analogy of joy as an object, a burden really, that one might carry around on one's head, like laundry, or a basket of food, or a load of bricks (have you SEEN those crazy national geographic photos of workers in, like, indonesia or malaysia or somewhere carrying literally loads and loads of bricks using only their heads??). this reference was vivid for me as i pondered thought #1. if joy is experienced simultaneously with myriad other emotions, positive and negative alike, then joy really is like this great burden on my head. it's there, with me, but it may not always be the easiest burden to lift. strange that i think of joy that way? it resonates with me, though, because sometimes to have joy is strangely very difficult for me.

anyway, you should listen. perhaps my thoughts will be more coherent after a listen.

Click here to listen: Joy - Isaac Anderson

the un-blog

2011-08-23T20:05:00.005-05:00

i'm so terrible about blogging as soon as school starts... i think it's because all other areas of my life come to a screeching halt! i abandon projects on the house, i neglect my yard, i don't clean, i don't cook anything creative, i don't go anywhere or do anything interesting, and i decrease my already minimal social activity. i thought maybe i would have to turn this into an un-blog, like instead of being a blog about home renovations, photography, cooking, and decorating i would have to start writing about my FAILURE to do these things. remember when i had the anti-decorating post showing off my piles of dirty dishes and unmade bed? well, i don't think i'm quite that desperate yet, but felt the need to post about something, ANYTHING, so...

i actually feel i've done pretty well so far this school year: i've had TONS of work, with my new position as the special ed department chair (in addition to the same job i already had as special ed teacher for students with emotional and behavioral disorders), but i've managed to keep quite a few other things on my social and personal agenda! here's what i've been up to:

*reading: Major Pettigrew's Last Stand; loving the stodgy old Major and his ever-changing perceptions of people he might have once viewed through prejudicial lenses.

*running: not really that much. want to do another race in the near future but having trouble figuring out how to fit running in with work during the week. best time for me to go would be right after i get home, before dinner, but it's been SO BLASTED HOT. and i'm so darn tired right after work that usually i just plop down on the couch and then there's NO chance! i've thought about starting a series of unglamorous facebook posts about running... you know how people will post their workouts, like "i ran 29 miles and felt great!" well, good for you! aren't you just awesome! i kiss the ground you walk on! so, i thought about posting things like, "i plodded for 5 miles and felt like dog poo!" or "i dragged myself along for 3 miles and my face exploded like a bubbling volcano of fire!" what do you guys think? i think they would be very popular posts. anyway, i created a training plan for myself on runnersworld.com and do plan to give it a good effort, but so far i'm logging most of my miles on the weekends and laying big old goose-eggs on the weekdays.

*sweating: the theme of school this year so far has been: let's-see-how-many-days-the-AC-can-break-down-before-the-students-start-to-riot-and-teachers-resort-to-violent-episodes. plus we had a power outage last friday in which we first evacuated to the football field and then were told to re-enter the building and try to conduct class with no power (no lights, no AC, no phones, no computers, no projectors, no intercoms, no security cameras, no metal detectors, no common sense... oh wait, that last one is purely editorial).

*socializing: i have managed to have enough energy this year to not entirely abandon my friends! i've had some quality time with co-workers, the Timmers, Laura and Tiff for brunch, Laura and Sporting KC for some excellent soccer:

and soon to come i will be enjoying some KSU football and US Women's National Team Soccer (again with Laura... i'm getting lots of good Laura-time!).

it's amazing how full my life is now that i'm not taking classes AND working! yay!

experimenting with a new recipe (aka trying to find a cooler way to cook in this inferno we call july!)

2011-07-24T19:22:00.009-05:00

although her toothy smile and her irritating habit of occasionally turning on a thick italian accent annoy me, i generally like the food that giada de laurentis prepares on her cooking show "giada at home." the woman adds cheese to everything, therefore she has won my heart. so, i saw this recipe on her show the other day and decided to try it with a few mendy-alterations. the recipe is for butternut squash penne.

Penne with Butternut Squash and Goat Cheese on the Food Network

i had sweet potato on hand, so i decided to substitute it for the butternut squash which is not in season during summer. i also decided it was entirely TOO SCORCHING to crank my poor oven in my tiny kitchen in my small (albeit quaint) house up to 450 degrees for 45-50 minutes to roast the potato and onions. i don't like to use the oven in summer if i don't have to as it damn near heats the entire house! in the winter, this is a perk, but right now it only makes me want to toss the whole idea of cooking at home out the window and instead call a favored restaurant for take out! so i thought to myself why not use the grill instead? and so i did. or rather, kirk did. i also decided to add some turkey sausage to the dish because it sounded good to me.

so here's what i used in the order of appearance:

*those turkey sausages look a bit disgusting, don't they?

in a foil packet for the grill:

chopped onions

cubed sweet potato

olive oil

salt

pepper

stove-top:

whole wheat penne pasta

chopped turkey sausage (kroger brand)

add to pasta after draining all but about 1/4 cup of the pasta cooking water:

soft goat cheese (add to the pasta while still hot and stir until creamy)

chopped fresh basil

add the heated turkey sausage and the contents of the grill packet

pepper

shaved parmesan

being an experiment of sorts, a few mishaps are bound to happen. for example, i had the grill set at too high of a heat and ended up having to cut the burnty ends off of some of the sweet potato. this resulted in far less sweet potato than i would have liked in the dish. also, i could do with or without the turkey sausage. since this was our entire meal, i'm glad we had a little more substance to the recipe, but i do think that this addition distracted from some of the great flavors of the original dish.

ok, i think i may veer away from food posts for a while. i might do a series of posts featuring different rooms in our house and some of the project ideas we have for those rooms. kirk and i have a hard time making decisions about which projects to do, which ones to abandon, and how BIG to make each project. anyone relate to that? really, there's any number of improvements, renovations, and alterations one could make to one's home, but we cannot do them all. so maybe i'll get some tips or advice from some of you with this next series of posts!

good eats

2011-07-20T15:36:00.007-05:00

i seem to have taken a lot of photos of food lately... is my subconscious trying to tell me something? do i harbor an uninhibited love of good food? can i think of nothing better to do besides eat and watch movies when it is 105 degrees outside? am i beginning to stress eat already at the thought of the impending end of summer? do i want a pizza right now? yes. so, i decided to share my cravings with you! tip: do not eat all this food in one day! or do, i won't judge.

for breakfast: a french-inspired classic of brie, fruit, and cracker (between you and me, i'd much rather have the brie and fruit accompanied by a big chunk of french bread than a measly cracker). a rare luxury of summer when i actually have/make time to eat breakfast rather than grabbing a quick protein shake to drink on my commute to work.

for lunch: a visit to one of my favorite lawrence locales... 715. love the four-cheese pizza and ginger brillante (candied ginger in sparkling wine)! they also have a list of yummy appetizers, refreshing salads, delightful atmosphere and they re-use old menus for coasters!

for an afternoon snack, or with dinner, or whenever you like: blueberry peach salsa. this is an adaptation of a mango salsa recipe i found in a magazine, but i just happen to have peaches on hand more often than mangoes. ingredients: blueberries, peaches, red onions, red peppers, jalapenos (fresh or jar), pinch of salt and sugar. serve with black bean burritos (a la black bean burrito with pineapple salsa from texas star in manhattan!), with chips, or atop grilled chicken or fish. yum.

for dinner: my attempt to recreate the sweet potato chorizo hash from the hutson's favorite brunch place in lawrence (mirth). as we sat down to eat, kirk gently reminded me that the original recipe features scrambled eggs in the mix. oops. here's what i used in order of addition to the pot:

2 tbsp butter (to sweat the onions, peppers, sweet potato, and garlic)

chopped onion

chopped red peppers

cubed sweet potato

minced garlic

low sodium chicken broth

spices: cumin, cayenne, curry powder, cinnamon

corn

kroger turkey sausage links (instead of chorizo)

chopped jalapeno

fresh spinach

shredded cheddar cheese

in hindsight, there was a little too much cheese, and it would have been good with eggs, maybe a little less sausage. ah well. next time. this is why i don't use recipes... i change it up each time anyway!

What the USA vs Brazil Soccer game means for women's sports (at least read PART ONE even if you normally skip my sports posts!)

2011-07-11T21:32:00.011-05:00

I cannot adequately describe the impact of Sunday's Women's World Cup quarterfinal game (USA vs Brazil) without first establishing the foundation of women's sports in the U.S. and the history of our country's meager interest in this largely international sport. Therefore, this post will be a two-part post: first to give some background and then to address this undeniably amazing game. If you're not a sports-minded soul, like myself, at least read part one, especially if you have any investment in women's roles in sports or if you have children that are girls that are strong, driven, competitive, ambitious, and display capacity for leadership and teamwork as they may one day desire to play sports or participate in a field that once belonged exclusively to men. The story of women's soccer in this country is inspiring to all those girls that delight in play, who want nothing more than to run around in the grass letting their skin soak up the sun, get into a bit of dirt, run hard and fast, sweat, suck deep breaths of air into the lungs, feel the strength of tired and sore muscles and earn badges of bruises playing their sport.

PART ONE:

Prior to Title IX (1972), there were few, if any opportunities for women in sports. There was no support, interest, or funding for women's sports, as well as non-athletic activities, in schools at all levels. To women my age or younger, it may be challenging to have a sense of the deprivation as we have never been without these opportunities. One cannot miss what one has always had. When I was quite young my mother was a runner, training for a marathon. I started running little 5k races with her when I was 4 years old. This seemed normal to me, it was always part of my life for as long as my memory stretches. I remember thinking my mom was a bit of a rock star because of all her running. I also remember being shocked when she told me that she was not athletic at all when she was in high school in the late 1960's. At that time, the only women's sports available at her school were tennis and cheerleading. She attended one of the largest high schools in the state, so it was not due to lack of resources (side note: perhaps some of you from smaller towns/schools have your own stories to share about lack of opportunities). Anyway, my mom is muscular and athletic even though she is petite. She was not stereotypically feminine, graceful, or coordinated, so cheerleading was not a viable option for her. She is competitive but also has a great sense of community and companionship, therefore tennis was too individualistic for my mom. In the 1970's, mom became an aerobics instructor, but team sports would never be an option for her. In the 1980's when she began running this was considered too masculine and training takes time, of which young moms just do not have much. This is especially frustrating for me to consider since team sports and running are two things that I have thoroughly enjoyed for my entire life. I participated in everything from swim lessons, to gymnastics, and little league volleyball and basketball... I couldn't get enough! I was never a star, far from it, but I had the mind for most any sport, and I loved working HARD, being challenged. Sports were also a way for me to spend quality time with my dad as I pounced on any and every opportunity to go to KSU basketball and football games with my dad. I listened to Royal's games on the radio with dad and watched Sunday NFL football while he snoozed on the couch and I even loved going to his rec-league softball games every week of summer. Could not get enough. When I think of my mom as a runner, an unpopular choice for women at the time, I am amazed at the shift in perception that has taken place since then. Running is this thing of awe, something that people admire, aspire to, and we respect strong women more now, I think. Personally, running is the hardest, and most rewarding, thing I do. I love the freedom, love having strong legs, and love the feeling of absolute exhaustion and satisfaction when I accomplish every run. I can't imagine being disregarded as "too masculine" because of it.

Anyway, because of Title IX, more and more opportunities for women's sports began to creep into schools, city recreation leagues, and universities. But, it would still be a long road to develop all of the layers that lead to professional women's sports. The members of the US Women's Soccer team that won the 1999 World Cup were forged in university club and varsity teams that were still in their infancy in terms of development. Julie Foudy was the first female scholarship player for Stanford University, and even she did not earn this scholarship until she was a senior in 1991. A more personal perspective: my high school (one of the largest in the state of Kansas at the time) did not have a girl's soccer program until my freshman year in 1994. And some schools that our Manhattan High boy's soccer team played against had one or two female members as their schools still did not have girl's teams. This is just over a decade ago, not all that ancient of history!

So, when the women's national soccer team began to put their stamp on the world of soccer, it really was a story of tenacity, adversity, and determination to play the sport they loved. The U.S. hosted the 1999 WWC and were able to sell out american football stadiums, the same stadiums that hosted the men's WC in 1994! In fact, the women were filling the stands more emphatically even than some of the teams to whom the stadiums belonged! Imagine it: there were nearly 80,000 red, white, and blue fans in support of women's soccer in the NY Football Giants home stadium! When was the last time the Giants sold out? Anyone? Anyone? Didn't think so. Soccer has a hard time gaining any momentum in this country, which I hope is at least in the process of changing. When those soccer phenoms captured the hearts of the U.S. it was not only unprecedented for women's sports, it represented an astronomical leap in the popularity of soccer overall... something the U.S. men's soccer program had failed to accomplish thus far.

For more on the amazing 1999 World Cup and to see interviews with the stars of that team you can watch the video below (about 8 minutes long).

http://search.espn.go.com/1999-women-s-world-cup/

If you don't really care about sports please desist from reading after part one. But, if you love me (hehehe) or if you really have just been longing to hear my breakdown of Sunday's amazing game and you're hanging on my every word, well then, by all means, read on. If you've read this far, I will wrap up part one by saying that I am ecstatic that women's sports have continued to press on and advance despite resistance. I listen to sports radio quite a lot and it's hurtful to hear the mockery of women's sports and the general misogynistic perspectives of female athletes. I understand that in terms of popularity, women's sports have a lot of catching up to do and will probably never surpass football or men's basketball, and I think that is ok. Parity is good and necessary in some places, but it never made anyone better or stronger. As long as football and men's basketball are winning the popularity contests, female athletes will always have something higher to strive for and they will keep getting stronger and more skilled. But, I wish that some of those radio guys would take a cue from the male professional athletes that have gushed about US Women's Soccer in the past few days. I delighted to hear quote after quote, tweet after tweet on ESPN after Sunday night's game, from NBA and NFL players saying how inspired they were by the women's team. In the early 2000's, before KSU men's basketball saw it's renaissance under Frank Martin, the talk of the town was KSU women's basketball and Deb Patterson, Nicole Ohlde, Laurie Koehn, and Kendra Wecker (to name a few). I remember sitting in Bramlage watching this amazing, tough team compete. Across the stadium, I could see the men's basketball team sitting among the fans, cheering for and admiring these "girls" and instructed by their coaches to learn from how this team worked together, to watch Laurie Koehn's form and her incredible range, to take note of Ohlde's presence and her powerful ability to create space on the post. I went to KSU volleyball games and saw football players on the front row of the stands, the loudest (and largest) supporters of those hard-hitting volleyball women! There's a lot to be learned from female athletes; how they compete, how they strive, how they persevere.

Whew! That's a lot of words! So, onto part two: my analysis of the 2011 WWC quarterfinal game between USA and Brazil.

PART TWO:

This was not the quarterfinal game I, as a fan, wanted us to play. I would have preferred to play Australia, but in our final game of group play the US team lost to Sweden, thereby surrendering the top position in the group. Sweden claimed the top spot and the far "easier" match-up with the Aussies for their quarterfinal, while the US as the #2 team in the group was set to face the Brazilians. Brazil, with the United States and Germany, is one of the top 3 teams in the WORLD. They have a front 3 that is the envy of most national teams in Marta, Rosana, and Cristiane. These ladies can DANCE with the ball; their feet are quick and rhythmical and deceptive. Marta is the 5 time world player of the year. This was going to be the toughest quarterfinal match-up. So, when at the 74 second mark, literally the opening seconds of the game, Shannon Boxx crossed a ball from the left corner into Brazil's defensive box and it deflected off of a tangle of USA's Abby Wambach and Brazil's goalkeeper and defender (Daiane) into the goal putting the US up 1-0, I released a very satisfying breath of sweet relief. I did not have to fear this game any longer. The stomach ache I had been nursing since 6 am began to recede.

At this point, my mind was able to slow down enough to appreciate a few key factors, the first being that USA coach Pia Sundhage made some adjustments to our defense that were necessary and important. Marta is fast and tricky and wants to go one-on-one with defenders all day long. She plays on the right side of Brazil's offense which corresponds with the left, and typically slower, side of the USA defense. Buehler is a bulldog of a player (Kirk calls her a football player because she drives in with her shoulder like she's a linebacker), but she's slow and I was not thrilled at the thought of seeing her backpeddling at Marta's heels. So when I saw that coach decided to switch Buehler to the right side of our D and put Rampone on the left, I thought, "that's exactly what I would have done!" Another key factor: I have not been terribly impressed by our mid-field play during this tournament (Boxx and Lloyd seem a little slow, our midfield can't seem to possess the ball for more than 1-2 passes, and our placement is not always accurate) but I was glad to see Shannon Boxx start strong with that cross early in the game and felt that our midfield would put pressure on Brazil's back line since they only put 3 defenders back. Finally, I was glad to see that our defense was crashing to the ball anytime Brazil's front 3 touched the ball, giving them space in the midfield but creating a lot of traffic in front of goal to prevent those 3 from weaving and dribbling around too much. We made it to half time and well into the second half with that 1-0 lead but I felt that Brazil was playing more aggressive as the game went along and this made me nervous. And then "it" happened. The worst.

In the 66th minute, Marta got the ball past our defenders and was hurtling toward the goal, elbow to elbow with Buehler, wrestling and battling, and then she leapt into the air and tumbled to the ground in front of the goal. The referee blew her whistle, which I thought strange since it appeared to me that both players were equally aggressive, so I was unsure who the foul was on. And then my stomach sank, absolutely dropped, when she pulled out her red card and walked toward Buehler. Not only a penalty in the box (giving Brazil a one-on-one penalty kick against goalie Hope Solo), but a red card sending Buehler out of the game and the US team would have to play short one player for the remainder of the game. The stadium was incensed, Ian Darke and Julie Foudy, who were commentating the game, could not believe that a call of this magnitude was being made to impact this game. In fact, it was so bizarre that neither of them really understood what was happening, it was that unclear. Cristiane lined up to take the PK for Brazil, struck the ball, and Hope Solo made the most unlikely of saves! I went from total despondency to elation in a matter of seconds! We were still leading 1-0!!! The US team was celebrating the save with Solo, the fans were cheering, it was jubilation! But wait, what's this? Why is Marta carrying the ball to the PK line? What? The referee says what? She says it's a re-kick? But why? No one knows. Hope Solo is being given a yellow card? Why? What is happening? Before any of these questions can be answered Marta takes the PK and buries it in the back of the net to tie the game. And now we have to somehow try to tie or, even more doubtful, win with only 10 players to Brazil's 11. The reason for the re-kick, by the way, was encroachment. The goalie is not allowed to leave the line and the other players must remain behind the 18-yard line until the ball is kicked. From replays it does not appear that Hope Solo left the line early, she moves laterally which is legal, and maybe, MAYBE steps forward ever so slightly, but even Ian Darke stated that he's seen much more leniency than this toward that particular law. Upon close examination of replay, it appears that one of the US players stepped into the corner of the 18-yard box just as the ball was being struck, but again, this is rarely, if ever, called because it does not impede on the player's ability to strike the PK. Overall, highly questionable.

Well, this is just a horrendous moment. I can't imagine a team being able to overcome the physical challenge of being down to 10 players (it's exhausting, you spend a lot of time "chasing" the ball, and you cannot send players on offensive attacks for fear of leaving the defense vulnerable) as well as rising up from the emotional letdown and rage that the players on the field must all be feeling at this moment. When athletes are angry two things can happen: either they start to play "stupid" making mental mistakes out of frustration, or they play more determined, more driven, more aggressive than ever. Amazingly, the US women at this point appear to play with renewed verve, rather than being dejected and sullen. They seem to have fresh legs, they play a better possession game, especially possessing it from the midfield, they mount attacks offensively and create opportunities for corner kicks or free kicks that they weren't even able to muster when they had 11 players on the pitch. Rapinoe and Morgan sub in and give the US fresh bursts of energy. Not one player looks worried, bitter, or resentful. Not one player complains. They just go hard for the final 24 minutes of regulation and force the game into overtime by holding onto the tie. Already this has been a feat. Now, they have to try to maintain this tie, or miraculously try to win, in overtime which consists of two 15-minute periods. If, at the end of the extra 30 minutes, the game is still tied, it will go to penalty kicks... 5 PKs for each team. At this point, I'm hoping just to make it to the PK's because I am skeptical that we can manage a win. I have never watched a soccer game in which the team with only 10 players was able to score to win. I have only ever seen teams hold on for a tie. So, I'm doubtful. And then, within a few short minutes, doubtful became hopeless.

Two minutes into the first 15-minute overtime period, Brazil unveiled an offensive strike from the right corner of our defense that broke my heart. A quick pass to a Brazilian midfielder that appeared to be offsides froze our defense and Boxx turned her sights away from Marta for only a second to check for the offsides flag. That second was all Marta needed to receive the assist from her teammate before she chipped the ball over the US defense to the far post, and it deflected off the post, past Solo into the net. The offsides no-call was so close and I probably would have objectively maintained my sanity had this officiating crew not already ruined this game for me 1000 times over! By this point, Ian Darke and Julie Foudy have abandoned any efforts to withhold criticism of the officiating in this game. Julie put it best when she said that it is never good for officials to insert themselves too much into a game. She lamented that players want to leave a game knowing that it was won or lost on the pitch by the players, not because referees became too involved in creating or denying opportunities.

This is now an insurmountable task for the US team. To come from behind (down 2-1), in overtime, with only 10 players has never been done in the history of the world cup. But still, this team forged ahead. Their faces were set with determination and grit. They attacked harder, faster, and their fitness was far superior to that of Brazil's. Team leaders like O'Reilly and Wambach shouted motivation and encouragement to their teammates, pumping life into the team. Brazil began to play a limp, passive game of time-wasting and antics. They looked spent, weak, and you could practically see the lactic acid rising to their eyeballs. The worst gamesmanship by Brazil occurred simultaneously as USA's desperation was at it's peak, at the 113th minute, with only 7 minutes remaining in overtime. Over the course of the game, the crowd had gradually turned against Brazil, raining boos and whistles down whenever Marta touched the ball or a Brazilian player overtly wasted time or argued with the referee. In the 113th minute, a Brazilian defender, Erika, walked along, watched as the ball rolled out of bounds, and then suddenly, as if struck by an invisible bolt of the most devastatingly crippling lightning, she fell to the ground grasping her back. She rolled and winced, flopping on the ground for several minutes, calling the referee over. Then, she stood up, but several teammates around her appeared to tell her to lay back down and waste more time so she fell again, this time requiring the services of a stretcher. The stretcher carried the poor fragile Erika off the field and no sooner did she cross that line but she was miraculously cured of her non-existing ailment and ran back to re-enter the game! The fans had nothing good to say about that stunt, to be sure! And the referee did not appreciate this patronization either, for Erika was promptly awarded a yellow card. But all of this is of no import because I am watching my beloved team desperately try to get this game restarted and they now only have minutes to try to score a goal to tie this game and send it to PKs! They charged and they crossed the ball and they had a corner and they took shots that flew over the goal, but nothing was very promising to go in. The referee announced that there would be 3 minutes of added time due to the "injuries" so it is now the 120th minute and we know time has all but run out. Ian Darke states that this will be the worst WC finish to date for the USA team.

And then Cristiane has the ball deep in our right defensive corner ready to strike. But our defense takes it away and dishes it off to midfielder Lloyd, who carries it from the right to the left side, nearly losing it before she just barely gets the pass off to Rapinoe who is charging up the left flank. Rapinoe dishes up the. perfect. cross high and arcing to the far post and...

click here for video

The game is tied!! The game is tied!! In the 122nd minute, Abby Wambach ties the game and we're going to PKs!!!!! New life! This is the latest goal ever scored in the history of WWC!!!

And now, I know we will win. I know Hope Solo will not surrender all 5 PKs, I know she will stop one, make one precious save. I know we will make all 5 of our goals. I just know.

Shannon Boxx is up first. She takes the strike and Brazil's keeper stops it, but... she left the line too early, obviously, undeniably, the ref must give a re-kick. And this one, Boxx does not miss. USA 1.

Cristiane takes the first Brazilian PK and makes it. Brazil 1.

Lloyd is up and she makes it... USA 2.

Marta sinks it... Brazil 2.

Wambach, nails it... USA 3.

And then, Julie Foudy says "here comes Daiane for Brazil, she does not look confident, I think Hope has this one" and Daiane strikes it to Solo's right side, low on the ground, Solo dives, arms outstretched and blocks the shot with just her right hand and she has the one save she needed! She throws her arms up in celebration while rolling out of her dive and the stadium erupts in absolute hysterics! USA 3, Brazil 2.

Next up for USA is Rapinoe, who does not miss... USA 4.

Some player who's name I cannot remember takes PK #4 for Brazil and makes it, still some life left for them if we miss our last PK... Brazil 3.

Last up for USA is Krieger, a defender (reminiscent of defender Brandi Chastain's PK, with her weaker left foot, to win the WWC in 1999) and all she has to do is make this goal and the US have won 5-3 by PKs...

...and she places it with precision in the corner of the goal out of the reach of Brazil's keeper and we have won this unbelievable game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am screaming and crying and the most guttural sounds are spilling out of my throat! Madly texting my friend Laura in celebration! Running circles around the coffee table in the living room! Calling Kirk on the phone to try to recount for him the story of this game but he cannot discern a word that I'm screaming into the phone, of course! Jubilation!

By far the greatest sports moment in my recent memory. Maybe tied with the 1999 WWC win against China, KSU football win over OU in the Big XII Championship, Jordan draining 3's on Utah while visibly battling the flu, Vince Young leading Texas to a late-game win over USC in the BCS Championship game... it was that good.

Here's what I found the most astounding... several players, when interviewed after the game, said the exact same thing, that they knew they were still in it. Julie Foudy commented that she never really believed Germany would snap out of it to beat Japan, but that she didn't feel like the US was out of this game, even when they were down players! Even down to the last seconds of overtime while they were still losing 2-1, they knew they had a chance. Really????? Did you? DID YOU??? Because I thought there was NO WAY! It was so unlikely for them to win. It was so much more likely that you would see them fold, see them give up, lose hope, play flat, give up more goals, play frustrated, make more mistakes and descend into the depths of sports despair. Why is this more likely? Because you see it all the time, in any sport. When teams are faced with unexpected obstacles, they don't know how to handle it. Teams that are used to winning don't know how to come from behind to win. Teams are dealt the proverbial devastating blow and they just never recover. But this USA team was dealt blow, after blow, after blow, and they just did not surrender. They actually got better and stronger as the game went longer. I have not seen anything like it. Remarkable. My final parting wisdom is really more of a tip: Tivo the replay immediately. I made Kirk watch the game in it's entirety tonight, even knowing the outcome, and his response, his expressions at each glorious and heart-breaking moment, were classic! He kept saying, "And I even KNEW what would happen!!" Watch it. Worth it.

nonsensical words

2011-07-03T21:01:00.004-05:00

If you read my posts at all, you've probably noticed my fondness for creating my own vocabulary, taking a bit of liberty with words, if you will. I like to think that JK Rowling and I have this in common! (side note: I'm writing this as I watch the first 6.5 Harry Potter movies on Blu Ray in preparation for the final movie!) Anyway, in honor of made-up words, I've included a few gems from the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational (my comments in italics):

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are some of the winners:

*Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

*Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

*Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

*Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

*Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

*Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

*Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

*Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

*Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. Apparently this definition was written by Miss Teen South Carolina ("like such as")

*Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. I am still in training for a decafalon, it should be noted, as I have yet to complete one single day eating only healthy foods!

*Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

*Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. This is a close cousin to the strange halting-then-sprinting dance I did upon encountering a large snake on the trails while going for a run.

*Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

*Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:

*Coffee, n: The person upon whom one coughs.

*Flabbergasted, adj.: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. Love this one! The definition. Not the state of being flabbergasted, I should clarify.

*Abdicate, v.: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. I'm not quite ready to abdicate yet... still optimistically searching for those strong muscles that once existed in my torso region!

*Esplanade, v.: To attempt an explanation while drunk.

*Negligent, adj.: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. I can relate to this, although I do not own any nightgowns... what would be the word for answering the door wearing glasses, flannel pajama pants, with a good case of bed-head and bra-less at 2:00 in the afternoon?

*Lymph, v.: To walk with a lisp.

*Gargoyle, n.: Olive-flavored mouthwash.

*Flatulence, n.: Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

*Balderdash, n.: A rapidly receding hairline. Oh Kirk. Wah wah wah.

*Testicle, n.: A humorous question on an exam.

*Rectitude, n.: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

*Pokemon, n.: A Rastafarian proctologist.

*Oyster, n.: A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

*Frisbeetarianism, n.: The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

*Circumvent, n.: An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

2011-06-27T08:59:00.006-05:00

my heart is hurting and i just do not have many words to say, for once. i am glad that he's finally free.

here are some of James' own words or verses he gave to me through letters many years ago that seem to be appropriate now:

"Remember to thank God for His Son, and every good and bad thing in your life."

"Psalm 62:8 - Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us."

"God is good, so love him."

and from his favorite Psalm:

"As for man, his days are like grass;

as a flower of the field so he flourishes.

When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,

and its place acknowledges it no longer.

But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him,

and his righteousness to children's children,

to those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts to do them."

-Psalm 103:15-18

former high-capacity rule-follower trying to make a plan and stick with it

2011-06-15T02:01:00.003-05:00

(side bar - please do not judge for it is 2:02 am and i am posting on my blog. can't sleep. no apparent reason. too hot and humid perhaps? it's uncomfortable to sleep when the backs of my knees are sweating.)

please note: this will be a rambling rant. stay with me.

so, kirk and i often talk, with no attempts to disguise our envy, of "high-capacity" people... you know the type: those people who have intense jobs, busy personal lives, loads of kids, perfect yards, and still manage to impeccably renovate their old houses, run 10 miles every morning before dawn, and cook an organic gourmet dinner every day with foods grown and harvested in their own sustainable gardens. ok, i really do not think anyone is that ideal, but my hyperbolous (i know, not a word) description appropriately illustrates the image that i think we all measure ourselves against. anyway, the bit that really causes a twinge of pain in my heart when we talk about such people is that i used to be a high capacity person and somehow lost that version of myself over the past 10 years. here's what i think has occurred:

1. i am not 20.

2. i have "adult" responsibilities now (mortgage, job, graduate school, household projects, retirement fund, the need to "keep an eye" on cholesterol).

3. i've discovered that i'm actually an introvert (for years i got by being outgoing, but really i am totally energized by time by myself and drained of energy when i do not get to be by myself).

4. i learned how to say NO. high capacity mendy cared more about being a people-pleaser than being honest. the new mendy is less afraid of offending people (believe it or not, but i really don't enjoy offending people, i'm just resigned to the fact that i probably will offend at least 5 people every day). former mendy would have agreed to coordinate this, organize that, attend this, pick up that, deliver this, schedule that, and bake 5 dozen cookies by tomorrow for the other thing... that's just not going to work for me anymore. first of all, i don't like to bake all that much. secondly, (see item #3) i don't want to be around people every waking minute of every day. thirdly, being good at planning, organizing, and other administrative duties, and enjoying them are not mutually inclusive. so, with my new self, you can pretty much count on my yes being yes and my no being no; if i say i want to do something, i probably mean it. i wouldn't agree to it otherwise... unless the consequence of saying "no" outweighs the positive effects of not being over-committed.

is this making any sense?? am i the only one that has lost the capacity to be high-capacity??

anyway, 12 years ago, not only was i high capacity, but i was also a rigid rule-follower (goes hand in hand with the people-pleasing thing). i'm not just talking about parental rules, or rules of the road, or the 10 commandments, or constitutional laws... i mean that if a person i respected or a person of authority told me "you should do x, y, and z" i did it. because they told me to. and they know what is best. and if i could not follow the "rule" i would commit myself to penance of regular doses of guilt, shame, regret, and remorse until i felt i had adequately compensated for the failure to comply.

examples:

rule: "you should do devotions every morning"

failure to comply: did not get up until 8:10 am when i have 8:30 am class halfway across town = oh crap! = no bible-reading until 10:00 pm = layer after layer of guilt slathered on my conscience until i have thoroughly shamed myself into having daily morning devotions at least 3 consecutive days!

rule: "you should not swim until 30 minutes after eating"

failure to comply: having to eat lunch was just an annoying distraction from my sole purpose for living as a child in the summer: to spend every daylight hour at the pool. so i usually wolfed down the pb & j, ran like i had ants in my pants to the pool, and cannon-balled into the deep end before 10 minutes had elapsed. result: hypochondriatic cramps in the tummy ("oh no! i'm probably dying because i ate and then swam 10 minutes later!"). cramps more likely due to the child-ulcer caused by feeling guilty for every blasted broken rule!

point being: in any given day, there are so many rules to follow/break and these rules were very important to me. so, if i made a rule for myself i was pretty good at keeping it. plus, i was a high-capacity person back then, so i could juggle quite a few rules before my systems started to shut down.

at some point, i decided to free myself of these stressful ways and began to embrace my rebellious side. this may or may not have been a noticeable change to the outside observer, but for me it was a definitive shift in my thinking. i would say there are a lot of positives that have resulted from this shift. i'm more of a grace-giver (to myself at least, and i like to think i do the same for others) and i've finally allowed myself to receive grace (that's huge, isn't it??), i've experienced new freedom (freedom to do what i'm good/gifted at, not just do what i "should"), i've mellowed out (this is virtually undetectable by anyone not inside my brain), and i'm more honest with myself. all good things.

however, i've noted a few downsides as well, chief among them is my seeming inability to STICK TO A PLAN. it's like i have commitment fears or ADHD or something. i've always been one for plans. i like to look at the big picture and break it down step by step. i like to have a goal and work toward it. i like to have time to prepare, brainstorm, sketch, collaborate, and then attack. but now, i spend time planning and preparing for ___________ (fill in the blank with any scenario... grocery list, lesson plans for school, exercise plan, healthy meals for the week, etc), but fail to follow through with the plan. i plan, but do not execute. or i change the plan mid-course to avoid failure or the discomfort of having to discipline myself. you all know what that is like, right? take new year's resolutions, for example: who among us has not started out with a supremely ambitious resolution, only to fall off the wagon by january 8th and find yourself cleverly revising the resolution?? "no soda" becomes "no soda on weekdays" and then mutates into "no soda on mondays." pretty soon, you're drinking more soda than you were before the cursed resolution was ever uttered!

so now i'm struck with the dilemma: should i keep my plans realistic and overly simplified (dumbed-down, if you will) so that they are achievable? or should i take the risk of saying the thing that i really, ultimately, want to achieve only to look a fool if i cannot accomplish it? and don't tell me that "the answer probably lies somewhere in between." well, thanks, i never thought of that (sarcasm). sure, sure, balance, moderation, whatever, that's the ideal. but if we're honest, we probably spend the majority of our time pin-balling off one extreme or the other.

i have so many things i want for myself (goals) that i'm literally afraid to say out loud, afraid to write them down, afraid to commit to them, because i'm afraid i can't achieve them. i may have been afraid to disappoint people, afraid of failure, afraid of rejection, etc as a 20-year-old, but i NEVER thought that i would not achieve the goals i had set for myself (pardon the double negative). with all the fear, anxiety, stress, insecurity and whatever else i had as a kid, it never occurred to me that i might not accomplish what i said i would do. i was ruthlessly optimistic, maybe a little naive. so, i don't know when exactly that i stopped believing that i could do anything, but that is not a good thing. that's not good fear. how can i tell my students that it's ok to experience failure, not to be afraid of it, because you'll learn from it and it will make you stronger, when i'm afraid to dream for my own self? i think it's the ultimate dilemma, isn't it? it's really impossible to achieve a personal goal that you have not set. i don't want to say it or write it for fear of letting myself down or having to face others that are actually living out their goals/dreams (isn't that the worst?! it's like looking in a mirror of everything you're not! please, you all know you think the same things!). so i could keep on NOT stating my goals, not writing down the plans for how i'm to achieve the goals, and i'll have guaranteed results: i will continue to NOT make any progress towards the fictional, imaginary goals. but, at least i will have met my expectations.

my goals for myself include how i want to spend/save my money, what projects i have in store for my house/yard, places i want to visit or live, what i want for my emotional/behavioral disorder program (EBD program for short, but i never know if people know what in the tarnation i'm talking about when i use all these acronyms!), what sort of eating habits i want to abide by, what i want to look like, what i want to accomplish as a runner, and the list just goes on. i'm sure you all have your own things to add to the list, maybe you're afraid to say it too, maybe not. maybe you're one of those darned high-capacity types that's already living out your dreams as a marathon runner/super-mom/dad/employee-of-the-month/organic gourmet chef who looks like a model and who's home is featured in House Beautiful magazine and who has raised all gifted children and prize-winning pets. in which case, i would like you to please not take it personally that i will not be able to be friends with you any longer. just kidding. no i'm not. ok maybe. not.

so here's the question: how do i make a plan (that i will stick with) for these goals? i don't want to do anything crazy that only lasts for a short while. i don't want to just run one marathon and then flame out. i want to be a runner. i don't want to do a "diet", i want to have healthy habits. kirk and i have a list of "need to do" projects for the house and then we have the "in our dreams" list, so we need to make choices and budget for them, but we also recognize that being good homeowners may mean being willing to spend some money to invest in improving the house. i don't want to make the "rules" for life too rigid to follow, yet i know that to achieve the results i have to make sacrifices. what is the right amount of sacrifice?

these are the questions that have been rattling around in my head and the conversations i've been having lately. my guess is that these are not unique to me. they're not even new revelations to me; they're recycled, revisited, and newly-worded versions of the same conflicts within myself for the past 12 years. i have no great intentions or purpose for sharing them, other than to get them off my chest, have a little fun, find the humor in life, and test the water with my proverbial tippy-toe to see if there are any like-minded people out there asking the same questions and trying to measure up to the same idealized versions of themselves. and i just really could not sleep.

nerdy school teacher art

2011-06-10T15:37:00.008-05:00

last month, i spent a fun weekend in KC and, among the many various activities, we visited the flea markets in the old west bottoms. i was obsessed with all of the vintage fans, dressers, and globes, of course, as i seem to have a compulsive magnetism towards them. but, i managed to control myself and came away with this incredibly colorful old pull down map of kansas. isn't it great? much cheaper than any piece of artwork of the same size! and it seems to fit with my nerdy teachery self!

i wasn't sure of the best way to hang it and finally decided on a pair of antique wooden clothing hangers. here's the inspiration for that lovely idea (courtesy of design*sponge blog).

comfort

2011-05-25T19:40:00.005-05:00

this past weekend kirk and i gave ourselves the gift of a clean house. remember my new year's resolution to clean for 20 minutes a day in order to keep my house a happy clean house? well, that lasted about 2 months. and i'm pretty sure i haven't cleaned my house since. i do plan to re-instate the resolution as soon as summer (aka free time) begins. anyway, i really enjoy my house, especially clean. it's very comforting. i opened up the windows and let the breeze circle through the house while i planted myself in my bed and read books for most of the weekend... other than the bit when i was cleaning. i decided to take a picture of my clean room to show you so that you can understand why that was just about the perfect weekend for me...

...isn't it so comfy looking??? natural light, breezy, dark walls making it small and cozy, fluffy pillows, wrinkly-looking duvet, piles of antique quilts from my grandmothers and great-aunt stacked in the armoire, clothes and clutter put away, the smell of lemon-y furniture polish, the sound of my wind chime drifting in through the open window, and plenty of books waiting to be read... perfect.

then, i realized that i probably never showed you my new bed.

you'll remember that i ordered it back in november. unfortunately it was delivered minus a few key parts so we ended up having to return the ENTIRE bed so they could send us a new bed (exactly the same bed, mind you) but with all the appropriate bits and bobs so that we could actually put it together and use it for sleeping! this delivery-return-redelivery process took many months and resulted in a $100 gift card and free delivery after i very nicely told restoration hardware that i was less than satisfied with the experience. but, in the end, i received the bed and i'm very happy with it and my room looks like an adult bedroom and not a college dorm.

i also never showed you the great dresser i found on craigslist! you know i have a problem with dressers. can't seem to get enough.

ok, back to my original topic: i find it rather strange that i equally (but for entirely DIFFERENT reasons) enjoy being at school with loads of noisy, energetic students, and all of my exceptional co-workers, AND being at home alone in my room with a stack of books, napping cats, and a pleasant-y breeze. seems a little bipolar, yes? anyway, this got me thinking: what is the most comfortable room in your house and what makes it so comfortable?

a little self-admiration, if i may

2011-05-19T18:03:00.005-05:00

earlier this month i completed my final paper, typed my last words, wrote the last sentence of many to complete my masters degree! yay! i finished my last assignment on the same day as kirk and my anniversary and it was also the busiest week of the school year, so it was a bit overlooked. but now i would like to take this moment to congratulate myself. i am asking that you now address me as "master." ok, not really, i just wanted to bask in the light of being DONE for a minute. i also found out that i finished in the top 10% of graduate students at Emporia State University. i don't know if that is very prestigious or not, since it's a rather small university. well, thanks for allowing me a braggart-y moment. it will never happen again. unless i get another masters. or a doctorate. then i'll be insufferable!

how to have fun in kansas city

2011-05-15T15:53:00.004-05:00

last weekend, kirk and i had a mini-getaway to kansas city (ok, not really a getaway, considering i work in the metro area every day and it's really only 40 minutes from home, but still "away") for our anniversary. we stayed downtown and tried to participate in as many local fun activities as we possibly could in less than 24 hours. here's some shots to tell the story...

on friday we went to the west bottoms to check out the antique shops and flea market area that occupy the first floors of several old warehouse buildings. not only is this a perfect use of old buildings and a fun area to explore, but the shops had a lot of great finds and they seemed to be reasonably priced. we bought an old pull-down map of kansas that we plan to hang in our living room. i'll post pictures of it once i have it up.

friday night we went out to the "K" to watch the Royals. here's alex gordon running the bases after his home run. it was also "fireworks friday." good times.

so, after the game we were hungry and the only places open near our hotel were QUITE expensive...not exactly in our plan for the weekend, but what were we to do?? so, we splurged on a very tasty dinner of mahi tuna, potato gnocci, and fried zucchini. as fate would have it, we also managed to get a hotel room with a view of a brick wall, located directly below the massively loud air conditioning unit for the entire hotel, and directly between the rooms reserved for a wedding party (bachelor party on the left and bachelorette party on the right). after being awoken several times in the night and early morning with the plethora of sounds, we decided we would not be paying full price for this room. at check out, we politely mentioned the variety of issues and the very nice lady at the desk sympathetically discounted our room and took off the parking charge. she wondered why we were not given a better room considering we had made our reservations over a month before...i wondered the same, but appreciated that the discounted hotel room helped me to feel better about the very expensive mahi tuna.

after this, we walked down to the city market for breakfast. we enjoyed the scents of the spice market, the pastries from Bloom Bakery, the view of the city, and coffee before we headed for home.

learning our history

2011-05-02T16:34:00.005-05:00

if you want to know more about one of my favorite topics in U.S. history, or if you, like myself, enjoy being a lifelong learner, i just have to tell you to please, please, if you do nothing else this week, watch Oprah on wednesday, may 4. if you're not an Oprah-watcher, i apologize for being cliche, or pop-culture, or whatever, but on wednesday, she will be reuniting the Freedom Riders, civil rights activists that were the heart of the non-violence movements in the south in the 1960's. one of my favorite heroes in history, Congressman John Lewis, will be on the show to talk about that time in his life as he marched along MLK, Jr and many others. i hope that it will be a show that demonstrates hope, reconciliation, and redemption. i plan to watch it by myself and cry until i am satisfied that all the tears are out. then, i plan to show it to my students since we studied non-violence movements and John Lewis earlier this year. but, first i have to get the crying out of the way! please watch this very important show with me!

and, if you would enjoy fictional reading that shines a light on that same era in history, you should definitely read The Help by Kathryn Stockett, one of my favorite reads of 2010, if not ever!

kitchen dilemma

2011-04-23T18:39:00.005-05:00

ok, i'm going to need your help on this one...

for a while now i have been wanting to buy an old stove. not for decoration. to use. as my stove. in my house. when we bought our house, we were ok with the stove in the kitchen for now...

...but we knew that we would eventually want to replace it. initially we were thinking of buying all new, stainless steel, blah blah blah, and we did buy a new stainless fridge that i love. but the more i think about my design style and how i want to live (simply, trying not to acquire so many possessions, and trying to buy used/vintage/salvaged as much as possible) i started to think that an old stove is what i should do instead of buying new. there are always lots of old stoves on craigslist, like this one...

...but being the worrier that i am i think about how i will know if it's useable or not, how will it fit it into my TINY kitchen, etc.

here's some examples of the same stove in other kitchens and i think it LOOKS great (both pictures are from sneak peeks on design sponge).

now, look at that very first picture of my kitchen and try to imagine how we might make it work. i think we would have to take out one section of the lower cabinets to the right or left of the stove to fit the slightly larger older stove and then build a narrow section of cabinets to fill in the remaining space. we are most likely going to replace the counter tops someday anyway, because we HATE them, but we were planning on doing these types of projects gradually instead of all at once to spread out the cost over time. so, if we decide to buy the stove from above from craigslist this kind of bumps up all of these projects to the more immediate future. this ultimately brings up bigger home project dilemmas for me. those of you who do DIY or reno projects understand: how far should we go with this reno? how much money should we invest in changing what we have? should i take some risks to go with what i love or just stick with what i have? are we going to stay in this house for a long enough time to make it worth it?

so my questions to you are: what would you do? what do you think of using an old stove instead of using modern appliances? do you have creative solutions for fitting it into my tiny space? should i go for it or play it safe?

spring

2011-04-20T19:16:00.010-05:00

this is a lovely little screenprinted book my sis sent to me for my birthday. i decided to share some of the clever illustrations with you, especially those that reflect my mood lately...

i have been thoroughly enjoying getting outside with my camera, taking walks downtown for brunch, and basking in the sun this spring, but...

...it does come with a price.

approaching the end of another school year and i am deeply needing a...

alas there is no rest until june 2. 29 days of school left, and counting...

here are a few shots from around my yard and on the walk between my house and downtown:

i have a few single tulips that spring up every year. i really ought to plant some more bulbs to fill it in a bit. a single tulip seems a little depressing.

i found this winding vine-thing (honeysuckle maybe?) to be really curious. i like it.

blooming yard = happy black thumb!

2011-04-09T19:13:00.008-05:00

despite my shameful neglect of my yard and my ominous past as a black-thumb plant-killer, the magnolia tree in our front yard has the most beautiful blooms. they only last a short while, so i ran outside with camera to capture the moment before the wind swept all of the petals away!

this is one of my favorite shots, but it was not a very pretty flower! the blooms almost begin to look burnt at the edges when they start to fall off, makes for very curious-looking photos!

loving my new camera and it's ability to zoom in very close! this is inside the magnolia bloom, you can actually see the pollen!

i did take some other fun pictures from around the yard, but they're still on the camera so that will have to be for another day...

i have not disappeared...

2011-04-01T22:20:00.004-05:00

...i'm just busy, nearing the end of a long school year, and out of clever thoughts to share with the blogging world. maybe i should share un-clever thoughts. maybe i don't even have un-clever thoughts to share! so here's a brief summary for now:

*i have to take my comprehensive exams for my masters program tomorrow. it is four hours of writing. bleh. i will be finished with my masters in may barring a terrible disaster resulting in failure on an epic level! i'm excited and proud to finally be finished. but mostly excited about being able to just work without also being in school.

*the students are squirrel-ly, it's spring, we're all just holding on by the thinnest of threads of sanity. i'm running extremely low on grace, patience, logic and other positive qualities that are helpful for teaching.

*i have some new vintage finds (old-new, new-old, whatever) that i will eventually post...i've been storing up. there is a theme among the finds...i like items that function as containers, i like to contain...that's my teaser.

*i have tried running again for the first time since the maybe-stress-fracture...nothing spectacular, which is to be expected. the hip seems ok, but the knees are rebelling against this newfound activity called jogging!

*i have gorged myself on basketball but i'm not quite done! one more weekend of blessed basketball. go VCU! or Butler! i know they can't both win, but i'd really rather root for the underdogs than see stupid uconn or kentucky take the ultimate prize!

*to get me through the drought between the end of march madness and the beginning of football season i have indulged in purchasing some Sporting KC tickets (formerly KC Wizards...MLS soccer). fun times.

*couldn't decide what to give up for lent. so here's a list of things that have fallen to the wayside that i could choose from to give up: working out, reading for pleasure (not for my classes), sleep, blogging. i'm just kidding. is that sacrilegious? no, i'm just being dramatic because this is the time of year when everything else in life comes to a standstill to make way for "just getting through" to the end of school.

so that's all for now...the least i could do.

i'm not ok with bill self and other sports thoughts

2011-02-12T15:25:00.006-06:00

been a while since i've done a sports post, so i'm due for one i suppose. let's start with the good: here's some of my highlights from this year's NFL postseason. i realize it's a little late, but i've been really swamped with work, school, masters (had to do a video taped lesson... heinous! as soon as the camera's on, a few of my students decided to go insane! good news, i think i'm thinner on camera than i was at this time last year! may be an illusion, was wearing a black shirt. hmmm.). anyway, so every time i had a thought, or a rant, or a favorite sports moment in the past month instead of posting i've just had to set it aside and focus on other things. time to free my thoughts. release the kraken!

i realized that most of my favorite postseason moments this year have been from the NFC teams... odd. well, what else would it have been? matt cassel throwing an interception in the chiefs playoff game? i don't think so. but it's not time for "i'm not ok with that" yet so let's get on with the good stuff.

highlight #1: marshawn lynch's amazing td run for the seahawks! i watched this happening live and i was like "oh wow. oh my gosh, he's still going! Oh NO HE DIDN'T! HE JUST PUSHED THAT GUY RIGHT DOWN! OH MY GOSH!!!! WOW!!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!" or something like that. the crappy thing about being the sports genius that i am is that i knew immediately this was an amazing moment in sports, but i didn't blog about it immediately, and then within 2 hours it was ALL OVER THE PLACE, and here i am a month later writing about that one awesome thing that happened that one time. great. still worth another look-see if you ask me.

highlight #2: this is just one measly example of why i chose to root for the packers during the superbowl... because aaron rodgers is the kind of quarterback that i love to watch... gritty, hard-nosed, takes a tackle head on, and doesn't play "scared" when he has already had 2 concussions this season. i don't know if that's just stupid or if it's the smartest thing ever! when you play scared, you get hurt. so what does rodgers do? dives for a rushing td headfirst against the bears in the NFC championship, that's what! note the mini-weight belt celebration at the end. also, i always enjoy a rushing td where the carrier stretches out over the pylon... it's such smart play to use every inch of the field, the entire width, to stretch the defense. check out how deep he runs for this play to develop before he turns for the end zone. i just think it's brilliant.

highlight #3: big fella does a little dance. becomes an instant classic. if this isn't one of my favorite things of all times i don't know what is. no need for explanation, it is what it is...pure awesomeness.

i will not show any highlights from the super bowl. i was glad that the packers won, i've been a packers fan since reggie white, which i realize is still pretty recent history, but i was a kid when his career started so it's where my memory of loving the packers begins. you know, for the same reasons that i like how rodgers plays i find it REALLY hard not to like how ben roethlisberger plays too, but he's just not a very likable person. from a pure sports perspective, though, i would still probably prefer rodgers over big ben because he takes his risks on the field and not in life.

ok, now on to what i'm not ok with this week and that is bill self. i've always held that, while i will never be able to bring myself to root for ku and the fans drive me insane (except holly, she's just great and completely rational in her fandom and she's about the only person that i'm allowed to watch sports with because she won't judge me when i have to say some words), i've always had great respect for bill self as a coach and a person. well, he has been on a slight downward trend in my heart for the past month with how he has chosen to handle, or not handle, the mario little situation and the hot-headed morris twins. first of all, 4 weeks or so ago mario little was arrested for assaulting 4 people. within a few weeks he was back on the court. not only was he back on the court but his playing time mysteriously seemed to increase! not only this, but last week he was on the court scoring 17 points and being named player of the game against rival MU. well, i am simply dumbfounded. a month ago, when self was questioned about the incident of assault, he was defensive and even slightly disrespectful to the female member of the training staff that was assaulted by mario little, saying she wasn't "part of the team, oh but she was 3 weeks ago, oh but she's busy with classes now so she's not working with the team at this time (semantics, bill!), oh but there's no proof she was his girlfriend, but, but, but..." i was irritated at the time, but i thought i would just ignore this irritation because people are misunderstood in the press all the time and maybe bill was just still a little stunned by the news that one of his veteran players just assaulted 4 people. so i cut bill a break. but to see little's minutes go up and to see him getting the recognition and the applause from the fans, and the hoopla... ick. just ick.

so, in that same game, the mizzou game, markieff morris had a flagrant foul for a -not-really-a-punch-kind-of-a-shove directed at the face of an MU player. the broadcasters thought he maybe should have been ejected, i don't know, could go either way. i thought at the very least that he should not have gone back in the game, yet he did. what's more, self didn't even seem to have a problem with morris' dirty play. he didn't yell, didn't glare, didn't seem even all that frustrated that one of his star players almost got ejected and got an unnecessary foul called against him. no, self did not even say a word to markieff about it. not only was it just plain bad sportsmanship on markieff's part, but it's also extremely selfish and completely without regard for his own team! as one of the best players, in a rivalry game that was still a game at the time, you can't afford to risk being ejected! you can't afford to risk sitting the rest of the game. you need to be available for your team and you're not available when you hit a player in the face and get ejected or sit the bench...but wait. he didn't get ejected. and he didn't sit the bench. so i guess it really wasn't selfish play after all, because he must have known that bill wouldn't have the stones to sit him in a big game. yeah i said it. so then i thought, maybe bill just didn't see the not-quite-a-punch-kind-of-a-shove hit. maybe he didn't know how bad it was. maybe he'll watch the tape later and he'll address this in a press conference later this week. maybe he'll suspend morris for a game. i mean they're facing ISU in their next game, they can afford to teach markieff a lesson in that game. surely he'll take this seriously. there have been too many problems with the morris twins crossing the line from aggression to just flat out losing their tempers for self not to treat this with seriousness. i mean, surely he values his integrity as a coach more than he values beating ISU by 50 points. right? RIGHT? well, if you can't tell, i was typing with a very sarcastic tone there. because bill's only response this week was to say that people shouldn't be worried about it, that it looks worse than it really is (REALLY bill?? can you say that it "looks" worse when it has happened more than once in a season? when it has become a bit of a pattern? can you really say that?), and that it's being "addressed." then he went on to sing the praises of the morris twins and how much they've matured. eh???

look, i'm fine with the fact that self may not want to put everything out there in the public eye. i guess. and really, i don't have a MAJOR problem with any one specific event, it's more a problem with the cumulative non-addressing of things, the collective ignoring of things, if you will. because i'm watching my team, my coach, frank martin, get blasted for being tough, for being a disciplinarian, and for having players leave his program because they are too poo-poo-pants to cope with having to share the spotlight and not getting enough playing time. so yeah, i have problem with people NOT having a problem with bill self for doing nothing and i have a problem with people HAVING a problem with frank martin doing SOMEthing. i'm not going to make any snap judgments about self because i've respected him for longer than i've not respected him. but, the recent events are a bit of a crimson flag to me.

p.s. and by the way, freddy asprilla, what the crumb do you expect to happen to your precious playing time when you played like crap every time you were in the game??? really.

p.p.s. you will recall that last year when the doo-doo-diaper ku football and basketball players got into a fight on campus over some gross girl, it was hefty mangino that did nothing of consequence to discipline his team while self came home from the recruiting trail to hold team meetings and discipline his players for their stupidity. so here we are a year later and...

p.p.p.s. i would like to congratulate myself for using words like "poo" and "doo" and "crumb" instead of the more passionate language that i would typically use when i'm not self-editing.

short term memory...a snow day post!

2011-02-01T09:15:00.019-06:00

i'm in the midst of enjoying yet another snow day...got to sleep in until 8:15!! that's 2.5 extra hours of sleep people! so far this "blizzard" has more bark than bite, but it is still early i suppose (update: in the time it has taken me to write this post, the little wisps of snow have truly become a blizzard indeed!). i will say that weather.com has pretty much got it wrong all along, i recommend accuweather.com instead. according to weather.com, the snow was supposed to start yesterday morning...oops.

anyway, enough about that. i realized that two

posts ago i promised to do a post showing off some new old found things. that promised post then promptly slipped my mind. i have a short term memory problem. i really do. i need to start doing puzzles or something.

ok, on to the new old found things:

*mom and i dug around in her basement a little over christmas and pulled out a bunch of her grandmother's china. since she doesn't use it (mom notoriously has about 40 different sets of dishes!), i brought it home with me... the pieces i'm not using are carefully stored away in china storage bags. there's a whole set of the floral china like the teacup, plus this great fireking bowl (the pink bowl), and a couple of mismatched dessert plates. i've always wanted a little collection of mismatched teacups, but even better than buying a bunch of mismatched cups is getting my great-grandma's teacups for FREE!

*so, ever since we moved, i have been trying to remember where in the BLAST i put our silver set that was a gift to kirk from his mother... i know, i know, i'm the most HORRIBLE person to not remember where i stashed the gifted silver!

short term memory, what can i say. i could remember where i stored it when we were living in the old house, but for the life of me could not find where i'd put it in the new house (i've torn the house apart searching and it's not a large house!). so, i went back to check the old house several times and still could not find it!!! my worst nightmare was that i had accidentally put it in a pile destined for goodwill! kirk insisted that even i am not THAT evil, which only made me feel worse for not being able to find it! this has literally kept me up at night, wracking my brain, think, THINK! where is it?!?!?! so, finally mom and i decided to look one more time in the drawer under the stairs at the old house. little did i know that there was about a foot and a half extra drawer all the way at the back under piles of mom's serving platters and place mats which was secretly hiding my precious lost silver! so, i've brought it home, washed it, and put it out for display and use! i decided that i did not want to keep it hidden away in the box now that the

prodigal silver has returned.

recent etsy finds:

*i love colorful vintage enamelware and have been looking for just the right piece. i like reds and turquoises in my kitchen and i wanted to get a piece that i will actually use because i just DO NOT have room in my tiny kitchen for things i won't use. i'm not really a collect-and-display type of person. things need to have a purpose. well, i do not have a stock pot so i found this dansk enamelware pot for a great price on etsy and the enamel on the inside of the pot was in great shape so i bought it! and i've already used it to make lentil soup!

*found this great little creamer to add to my white collection... it's not really a collection, i just have white dishes. the stripe-y pitcher is a gift from my friend, hannah, from france... apparently they use pitchers such as this to serve wine!

free finds:

*i snatched this old, outdated, extremely dirty globe from the school library (with the librarian's permission, of course!) for FREE! it was

caked with dust and has some damage on the

metal because of the layers of dust...but i cleaned it up and i love it! you all know how i feel about globes.

so, what have we learned today?

*check accuweather.com for accurate weather forecasts (hence, the name).

*always, ALWAYS look in the very back of the

drawer under the stairs...you never know what treasures you may find.

*free stuff is always better than not-free stuff.

*when starting a collection, check with your mom who has thousands of dish sets first to see if there are heirloom pieces that she's not using.

*only buy vintage pieces that you a) love and b) envision using. unless you like vintage globes. it's ok to buy vintage globes, or get them for free, even if they do not serve a very practical purpose. because they look awesome. and they are cheaper than traveling to exciting places. although traveling to exciting places really is an adventure that cannot be replaced by globes. that's all.

p.s. i am having a great deal of difficulty posting pictures today so apologies for the confusing pictures in the wrong places and wonky typing!

worth the view

2011-01-22T13:17:00.004-06:00

i've seen some excellent movies/shows lately, thought you should know. mendy's must-sees, so to speak. as always, please heed my disclaimer: i am not easily ill-influenced by movies, so i'm open to almost anything. i may enjoy movies that others would take offense to, but my favorite movies always provoke, inspire, teach, and inform me. so, don't be shocked if you watch a movie, or read a book i've recommended, please just keep your mind open, is all i ask. ok, disclaimer aside...these are some pretty darn good choices:

*PBS Masterpiece Theater's series "Downton Abbey" examines difficult class and social issues between lords and the serving class. fascinates me.

*also on PBS Masterpiece Theater: a great twist on one of my personal favorites, "Sherlock" features Sir Arthur Canon Doyle's famous characters set in the 21st century. and it's hilarious. you will have to find the first season on netflix as pbs only shows repeats for a limited time.

*True Grit: had the pleasure of seeing the new version with my mom-in-law, Judy. very aptly named movie. highly entertaining.

*The Fighter: i know i've mentioned this already, but it is just that good. mind the profanity. it's boston, what do you expect? i, of course, was not bothered by the cussing. shocker. amy adams was feisty and awesome. christian bale...very deserving of the award nods he's received.

*The King's Speech: true story about england's prince albert and his speech impediment. so clever. colin firth, as ever, was incredible and witty. laughed out loud deliriously. my favorite scene is when albert discovers that he does not stammer when he's angry and swearing...had me snorting i was laughing so hard. don't judge for thinking swearing is funny...it is british cussing, which is somehow less offensive and more than a little charming. one of the many injustices of life, to be born without an interesting and charming accent.

useful things

2011-01-16T19:43:00.006-06:00

last week, i posted about how to clean your house in approximately 20 minutes a day by following this list of tasks to do each day over the course of 30 days (please only do 1 of these tasks a day...the list is meant to take you 30 days to work through!...there was some confusion about how a person could possibly work through all of those tasks in only 20 minutes a day! no, that would definitely NOT be possible!). this cleaning plan has been very useful and helpful to kirk and i and has even inspired us to tackle some organizational projects that have long been neglected! this got me to thinking about other useful things. so here's a few useful things that i've been enjoying lately:

*my brother the chef got a fancy-pants set of knives for

christmas which prompted the question: "what utensils can you not live without?" i realized that i'm fairly simplistic, i need a GOOD chef's knife, but it's pretty much the only knife i'll use; wooden spoon, a classic; kitchen shears for trimming fat and tendons off of poultry, cutting that too-large-for-the-toaster slice of bread, and opening those ridiculous bags of shredded cheese that say "tear here" but always manage to screw up the resealing zipper (you know what i'm talking about, i'm sure of it); a good spatula; and measuring cups (i RARELY bake, for which purpose i'm sure measuring cups are essential, however i use them for measuring and estimating food portions...see useful thing #2). obviously, these are not the only utensils that i use in the kitchen, but definitely the most frequent flyers. so, what are your essential utensils that you can't live without?

*online food journal: i've kept a "journal" of the food i eat since november and it's made me a MUCH more conscious eater. i've not really changed what i eat, still allowed myself to have all of my favorites (popcorn at the movies, coke, cheese, CARBS), but i feel much more knowledgeable about how much i'm eating, portion control, planning ahead, and creating balance. so (fingers crossed!), we'll see how it goes!

*my bike: since the stress fracture (or the almost-stress-fracture), i've not been able to run or play soccer or anything high impact. therefore my bike has been my best friend! also useful is the trainer that it sits on that allows me to ride inside, like a stationary bike, instead of having to hit the frozen roads in january!

*food processor: this was a gift from my mom and i haven't even used it yet but i have loads of plans for it! can't wait to make pesto and use it to try so many new recipes! right now, i just have ideas in my head, so if you have favorite pesto recipes or any other recipes involving the wonders of a food processor, do tell!

that's the short list of my useful things. later this week: more pictures of found objects from my parents' basement, the back of the drawers under the stairs, and etsy. also, a post highlighting the buchheister family "christmas" in january.

new year's resolutions (a week late...i know, i know) and decorating dilemmas

2011-01-09T16:30:00.009-06:00

as you know from my post last week, i am torn in my opinion of the importance (or irrelevance) of making resolutions. however, kirk and i did have a good chat last week about how to be more productive with our time AND simultaneously creating time to rest. we talked about what it looks like for us to rest/be productive on a daily, weekly, monthly, and seasonal basis. anyway, we came up with a few ideas, such as kirk taking a few vacation days a year to go for a good long bike ride (that's rest to him...crazy), or spending 10 minutes a day cleaning/tidying so that the house doesn't become overwhelmingly cluttered. so, then i found a handy little list on apartment therapy for cleaning house 20 minutes/day in 30 days. i like this plan because it doesn't seem too daunting; it breaks up the chores so that it keeps cleaning from becoming a huge, all-day project. here's my altered version:

Tips for cleaning the house in 20 minutes/day:

1. Deal with what comes through the door (mail, keys, coats, shoes, etc)...still working on that one. don't really have a great system.

2. Deal with dishes, recycling, composting everyday after dinner so it doesn't start to pile up.

3. Set the timer for 20 minutes!

Daily Tasks over a 30-day period:

1. Surface clean living room and kitchen (pick up stray items, dust)

2. Clean bathroom (toilet, shower, sink/counter, mirror)

3. Surface clean bedroom (put away clothes, dust)

4. Surface clean extra rooms (office, basement, laundry room, dining room, etc)

5. Surface clean living room and kitchen

6. Clean bathroom

7. Clean all interior windows

8. Sweep and vacuum all floors

9. Surface clean bedrooms

10. Deep clean living room (dust baseboards, artwork, windows)

11. Clean bathroom

12. Clean out closets (hang up clothes, etc)

13. Surface clean extra rooms

14. Deep clean bedrooms (organize, tidy closet, dust)

15. Surface clean living room and kitchen

16. Deep clean bathroom (clean out drawers, mop)

17. Clean all doorknobs, remotes, switch plates, banisters, etc (this one is weird to me, i'm not really one of those germ-people...maybe i'll just take this day off!)

18. Clean out the fridge (take out food, wipe down, organize, make grocery list to restock)

19. Clean entryway, sweep porch, clean out car

20. Surface clean living room and kitchen

21. Surface clean bathroom

22. Surface clean bedroom

23. Sweep and vacuum all floors

24. Clean/tidy linen closet (organize towels/sheets)

25. Surface clean living room and kitchen

26. Deepclean kitchen (scrub appliances, wash out trash can, dust baseboards, wipe and reorganize cabinets

27. Surface cleanbathroom

28. Surface clean bedroom

29. Clean one area that you've been meaning to get to but have neglected (yardwork, hello!)

30. Sweep and vacuum all floors

so far, the daily task has taken longer than 20 minutes/day (about 45-60ish) but i'm thinking that if i keep up with the list, it will get more and more efficient each time. if i am sweeping all the floors 3 times a month, for example, instead of once every 2 months (embarrassing!) then, it will not be such a big job each time.

in keeping with this theme of getting my life organized, i reorganized my "office closet" on saturday (i'm a party animal). this, mind you, was not on the cleaning list for saturday, but i will share with you what lead to this:

our c-mas tree was sitting on a dresser i found on craigslist (for $35 or $40, i think!) that i bought with the intention of painting a bright color to act as a tv stand in our living room. here's the dresser in it's "before" state:

problem is, now the look of it is kind of growing on me, so i'm debating whether or not to actually paint it. i wanted to paint it a glossy lemony-mustardy-yellow like this, because you may notice a theme in our living room: A LOT OF BROWN (big brown bookcase, big brown piano, brown hardwood floors, brown couch, brown, brown, brown). i need something different, something exciting. so, dilemma #1 is to paint or not to paint. what do you guys think??

ok, but let me get back to how this led to my organized closet. so, we switched out the new found dresser after taking down c-mas decor for the old dresser-acting-as-tv-stand, which lead to kirk having to finally clean out his junk drawers from the old dresser. hideous. i tried to set up a little drawer for keys, phone books, etc and kirk soon absconded the drawer for papers, batteries, loose change, cords, cables, and all sorts of things that i have no idea what to do with. so we spent HOURS zip-tying all of the cables, sorting everything into categories, and i got to make labels for all the plastic bins accordingly. i love labels.

so now, dilemma #2: as you see from my living room pics above we have a lot of woodwork in the house (door frames, window frames, baseboards, etc) and we are debating whether or not to paint them white. our main objection: a lot of work. we're kind of lazy, ultimately. but really, we both prefer white painted woodwork unless the woodwork is HIGH quality, which ours is NOT (which you could see from closer up...most of the varnish is sticky, wood is cheap, and in a few rooms the window sills have so much sun damage that we really need to refinish them anyway, but to take on the whole house...whew!). almost every home in design blogs or magazines that i love has white painted woodwork. we really have to decide before we start our bathroom project because we are going to gut the bathroom and whatever we put in there for baseboards and windows i will want to match the rest of the house, so...what do you guys think??

lastly, and not really a dilemma, i had an idea of what to do with our previous dresser-as-a-tv-stand (pictured on the left below). i think i may paint it with blackboard paint and put it upstairs in our future attic-guest-room-playroom-media-room. i have wanted to use blackboard paint for something, but really don't enjoy using chalk at all (hate the chalk-under-the-finger-nails thing). so, i thought i could turn the dresser into a "toy bin" of sorts, filling the drawers with sidewalk chalk, crayons, markers, craft supplies, toys, and kids books for when we have the nieces and nephews over. my worry: by the time i make this attic-playroom-etc a reality all of our nieces and nephews will have grown! kirk says that by then it will be our nieces and nephews' children playing in our attic-playroom!

favorite things - lawrence/holiday/Olympus Pen edition

2011-01-07T23:08:00.010-06:00

well, i survived the first half-week of the 2011 spring semester...barely. so, in honor of it being the weekend (!), this post will celebrate some favorite lawrence places, activities, holiday moments and traditions, and show off a few more photos from my new camera...prepare yourselves. this is to be the MOST random and unrelated list of items you ever did read:

*good idea for brunch in lawrence: Mirth. kirk and i frequent Mirth almost every saturday and always order the same things. for kirk: a "short" stack of honey whole wheat blueberry pancakes and coffee. for me: a half order of vegetarian biscuits and gravy and a half spinach and pear salad (yum!). downside? smelling of roasterie and onions (rather like the famous "Radina's smell" from our fave coffee shop in Manhattan).

*good idea for a family tradition: making homemade pizzas. growing up, my family made homemade "buchheister pizzas" which was only appropriate considering mom and dad met when they worked together at pizza hut during college. my personal journey with pizza has continued with kirk's family tradition of making a dozen different types of pizza at christmas: pepperoni pizza, bbq chicken pizza, veggie pizza, chicken and bacon alfredo pizza, shrimp pizza (not MY personal fave, but it seems to be rather popular with everyone else),you name it. just make sure you come with a ready appetite!

*good idea for a game night with friends: settlers of catan (nerds, i know). the davidsons and hutsons have a fairly competitive, yet amiable, board game relationship as you can see.

*good idea: visit a local movie theater that shows indie films. in lawrence, that would be liberty hall. really i just wanted to share photos taken with my new camera.

*good idea for a movie night: and my favorite movie of perhaps the last year: the fighter. christian bale...so good. marky mark (i don't think he still goes by that name...), also wonderful. definite favorite.

and to complete this post of celebration i must acknowledge that the chiefs made a most improbable turnaround this season and are heading to the playoffs for the first time since 2003! although i am still reeling from the shock of our heinous performance last week against the raiders (did our offensive line conspire with charlie weiss against matt cassel or am i being paranoid??), i really believe that the equation for success against baltimore is not outside of our reach. my keys to the game (by the way...my journalist cousin, josh, despises amateur bloggers that charade as sports writers, so i make this disclaimer: i am not claiming to be a professional sports analyst or journalist! i promise, josh! just my opinion! plus, i am too scatter-brained to keep a sports-only blog, as my reader friends all know). anyway, back to my keys to the game: run, run, run the ball. involve d. bowe early in the game. stop the run (baltimore's passing numbers are not great so we HAVE to stop their running back, ray rice...he is the biggest threat against us). no excessive going-on-4th-down decisions (ahem. todd haley). no turnovers. these are the strengths that we have shown in our wins this season, and really, this is not breaking news or rocket science, just really good ideas. go chiefs!

random found things

2011-01-03T22:56:00.007-06:00

happy new year everyone! i'm not really one for making resolutions (i feel pretty strongly that if something is really important, i ought to do it immediately regardless of the day of the year... although i also think that at times milestone markers are important for setting goals... so i guess i can see both sides), however one of my goals is to tackle a few of the unfinished projects around the house (hello, kitchen cabinets!) and to take more pictures. although i don't always like to finish projects, i'm never wanting for ideas and my etsy cart is certainly swelling with little bits and bobs that i want to add to my home decor. here's a few more finds from the past year that did not make previous posts for lack of photos. ahhhh, but i'm finding it much easier to take interesting photos with my new camera! later this week, i'll post more photos from my new camera. but for now, here's a few shots of my second-hand treasures!

vintage emerson fan found on craigslist; just needed a little cleaning and still works!

freebie snare drum we received as a white elephant gift (no one with children wanted to "steal" it from us... i wonder why). not sure what to do with it, but for now it occupies the corner next to my bookshelf.

freebie vintage illustrated children's nursery rhymes book from the 1950's; one of many books i salvaged from my school's library give-away last year... could not pass it up with these awesome illustrations. not sure what to do with it, how to display... the front cover is drab and dreary... maybe i'll just leave it open on the coffee table???

photo book and biography of dorothea lange, one of my favorite photographers of all time (dust bowl era, migrant workers, etc). found at 1/2 price books and purchased for $6!

post script:

i am in mourning for the inevitable end of my winter break... i feel i've accomplished quite a lot while not actually having to change out of my pajamas on most days for the past two weeks. my accomplishments: took lots of photos, learned (-ing) a new camera, drove to dodge city (to spend time with grandma, cousins, uncle, parents), drove to burlington (to spend time with kirk's fam), had lunch with erika, read 3 or 4 books, rode my bike, did yoga once (yes, exactly one time), made homemade pizzas (with kirk's mom's side of the fam), went to kc to hang out with friends, watched LOADS of football and some basketball, played settlers of catan with the davidson's, ate icing and graham cracker sandwiches with the sandefurs and rex, watched ksu vs. unlv live at the sprint center, and SLEPT (shamefully, that was probably my most frequent activity)! i'd say that's quite a lot to squeeze into two weeks! well, Sleep, it was nice to know you. i will visit you again in march for spring break for tomorrow it is back to school!

new camera

2010-12-28T12:08:00.007-06:00

i am a proud new owner of an Olympus Pen, a micro 4/3 (i don't really know what that all means...i'm a self-taught photographer so the terminology is lost on me, i'm afraid). here's a few experimental shots i've taken as i'm learning. i'm still trying to discover how to take the best shots possible and how to create interesting images or effects using just my camera (minimal editing). is this being too idealistic? i don't know. i feel like i've been stuck in a bit of a rut for a while, relying on my limited knowledge and a well-worn copy of National Geographic's Field Guide to Photography. i want to learn some new techniques. so, photographer friends out there: tips? suggestions? do you have any favored techniques that you've found to be tried and true? please share!!

tried to go downtown to snap a few shots but frozen fingers do not create good photos (cold = impatient photographer).

visit to Burlington to spend time with kirk's family for christmas:

wind farms in southwest kansas (taken from the car, while moving, on the way to my grandmother's house in dodge city...yee haw!): used the pin hole or grainy setting on the camera, bit of fun. notice the "mistake" when kirk slammed on the brakes...instead of a picture of the wind turbines on the horizon i accidentally snapped while my camera was tilting up toward the telephone lines...haha! i rather like it though!

when the dog bites...

2010-12-11T11:10:00.010-06:00

it was a dog-biting kind of day yesterday at school. a beat down. so, i'm taking this moment to simply remember my favorite things in an attempt to drown out the angry mendy. atop the list of best things of late:

1. best cure for bad day of work: weekend

2. best book in a long, long while: The Help by Katheryn Stockett - one of the most important books i've read since I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings or Kaffir Boy and destined to land on my all-time favorites list. you should read it. today.

3. best food indulgence: homemade chicken pot pie with sweet potatoes, curry, and whatever other veggies i need to clear out of the fridge before they spoil...definitely a comfort food. mmmmm.

4. best way to get arrested: dressed as a bagel. true story: my activist sis recently got herself jailed for the day for participating in protests of Bloomberg's AIDS Awareness Bag el Breakfasts. the reason for protest: it's all a lot of pomp and circumstance. smoke and mirrors. bells and whistles. much ado about nothing. a lot of talk and no action. while breakfasting with important muckety-mucks, Bloomberg continues to raise the rent on properties where NYC's housing works (my sister's employer) tries to provide housing to low-income AIDS patients and cut funding to programs that benefit AIDS patients. so, they protested the ill-spent time and money for bagel breakfasts dressed as bagels. well done, sis.

5. best lighting to hide the extra holiday squidge around one's middle (resulting from "best" #3 chicken pot pie): my vintage globe purchase from etsy. as you can see, it is still quite dark even with this delightful little orb all aglow, thus it is this season's best tummy-trimmer. they say black is slimming...darkness is more slimming!

don't worry, friends, i'm not actually that worried about holiday squidge, i just wanted to use the nonsense-word squidge! and now i've said it 3 times!

6. best way to drown out the noise of an angry mendy (or best thing since Boys II Men, take your pick): T he Sing Off (see previous 2 posts) or blasting Christmas music (did Boys II Men ever do a Christmas album??? if so, that would be the ultimate best way to drown out noisy angry mendy! kirk has informed me that yes, not only does Boys II Men indeed have a Christmas album, but we also own it. how this escaped my notice, i cannot say. short term memory perhaps?).

7. best way to cope with clutter and cleverly disguise dust bunnies without actually cleaning: Christmas decorations!

(please do not think to mock our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree...it is the only tree that our cats will not attempt to climb! i have no desire to come home from work to find my mercury glass ornaments shattered on the floor because cecil and percy were playing jungle cats in my living room.)

another great performance

2010-12-09T17:49:00.003-06:00

don't worry, friends. NBC's "The Sing Off" is only a 3-week long show, so you'll only have to hear/read my obsessive posts for 3 weeks! promise! of course, after this show ends, my little blogger self will return to writing obsessive posts about other subjects, like sports, or things i don't like, or some other thing that only i feel strongly about that would go completely unobserved by any other normal adult human...but you'll read on because you're my friend or because you're related to me and you feel you have to indulge me out of obligation.

oh, anyway. i forgot i was typing for a minute. ha! ok, so the POINT is, Committed delivered forth another incredible performance on last night's episode of "The Sing Off." i'll admit i was nervous for round two because i didn't think they could possibly achieve what they achieved in the first round. but, they were charming as ever, forcing the audience and the other competitors to their feet, arms in the air, judges silenced, ben folds stumbling over words, shawn stockman drooling, and if you press play below you'll hear why:

i would suggest watching full episodes on NBC's website, because you really miss something by not being able to hear how, incredibly, Committed outshines the competition, who are also very talented and entertaining singing groups, and yet...they just don't come close.

sounds worth hearing

2010-12-07T21:50:00.005-06:00

if you haven't already, you should definitely start watching "The Sing Off" on NBC...it's a voices-only competition for singing groups and it's delightful! if you were ever in a choir, or like a cappella, or sing in your shower, or like music at all, or have ears, you should watch this show! it's only 3 weeks long so don't act like you are just too busy or important to listen to good music! favorite group of the night: Committed, a gospel group that does not normally sing pop music and they just killed it. destroyed. they had shawn stockman (of Boys II Men...another favorite!) tripping over himself, speechless. the other groups, the competition, were unable to stay in their seats, they could not resist, they just had to celebrate with the awesomeness that was happening on the stage. remember this is a live show, with no instruments, lots of potential for awful-pitchy-ashley-simpson-on-saturday-night-live moments... but this was just pure...heaven. take a listen.

this is where i spend my days...

2010-12-04T11:20:00.005-06:00

...Washington High in KCK. our school was featured this week on the local news station, KCTV5, and awarded the "Cool School" award. here's a few links to SHORT video clips showcasing the school that i wanted to share with you so you can see a little window into my world! i'm very partial to our band, they sure do make our pep rallies way more exciting than any school i've been part of! the drum line is pretty awesome, unfortunately this little bitty clip just doesn't do them justice (but you can take my word for it because i'm DEFINITELY a music snob and refuse to throw out empty compliments!). i love this school, the staff, my principal, the students and am so glad for this job...even when it's really tough. so, check it out:

Washington High wins "Cool School" award

WHS band

spanish club and choir

i'm not ok with...

2010-11-23T22:17:00.003-06:00

...being good at basketball if it means that KSU will have more games on ESPN being called by dick vitale. he's awful. his voice is awful, his comments are useless, his "diaper dandy" makes me want to surgically remove my ears, and he is off-topic for 90% of the game. if you're calling the game between the #1 and #4 teams in the nation, Duke and KSU, then why are you talking about how KU is such a great team and "keep an eye out for that Selby kid?" does he not know the difference between KU and K-State or does he only know how to talk about the KUs, Dukes, and Tarheels of the world??? i'll take bob knight over dick vitale any day, and he's about the MOST negative person that exists in the world. but, he's actually knowledgeable about the game of basketball and has never uttered the term, "diaper dandy."

...KSU's free throw percentage. what do you do if you're coach martin??? how do you coach free throw shooting at this level? can they spend the entire practice just shooting free throws?? and why has pullen's percentage dropped off? this is strange to me.

...stress fractures. or "beginning of stress fractures," as that is apparently what i have in my right hip on the top of my femur. what am i, 90 years old??? apparently, i've been playing soccer 2-3 times per week, enduring the pain of what i thought was hip bursitis, but is actually a smidge more serious. so, no soccer or running for 6 weeks. awesome. swimming and elliptical trainer it is!

...having to do my final project for my master's program over thanksgiving break. i just want to eat, sleep, swim and elliptisize (not a word you say? i defy you to think of a better word for exercising on an elliptical trainer!), watch football and basketball and wear pajamas for 5 straight days. this plan does not include working of any sort.

...finishing a good book and dreading starting a new book that cannot possibly measure up to the book i've just finished. do you know that feeling? when you've just watched a really good movie or read a really good book and you don't want it to end, but it has ended, so you must move on with your life?? i've a stack of books with which to "move on", but i'm struggling to choose THE one to read next. i'm also in the middle of 3 other books simultaneously, all of which are quality, but it makes for rather slow and/or confusing reading to do things this way. the books i'm presently enjoying: eleanor roosevelt's biography (entirely fascinating so far!), the distant hours by kate morton (who is quickly becoming a favorite author, up there with joanne harris who wrote Chocolate...morton's books are a great blend of all things that intrigue me: british people and history, mystery, flashbacks, and uncovering of characters' pasts), and loose cannons by henry louis gates (harvard professor and expert on race relations and african-american history). anyway, all really interesting books. you'll really never hear me say that "i'm not ok with" anything regarding books, except that moment of finishing a good book and having to start a new one while burdened by the weight of expectations from the previous book.

that's all i'm not ok with this week. all in all a pretty good week. considering that i do have 5 days off of work for thanksgiving break, i am THANKFUL.

i'm an adult now!

2010-11-14T18:20:00.006-06:00

ever since kirk and i got married 8 1/2 years ago and i moved into our first apartment to start making it "home" i have been on the lookout for a bed frame. and ever since this time my mattresses have sadly rested upon the frail little metal rails that are free with the purchase of any mattress set. you know the ones. the ones that roll freely so that every time you toss, turn, or so much as cough in bed it shifts away from the wall by 5 inches. i have just never found a bed that i like and that i'm willing to spend some money on. even now, now that i am well into my adult years, it is hard to spend hundreds of dollars on a single purchase. my other dilemma is that i love, LOVE, LOVE old iron beds, but, as we americans have continued to grow wider over the decades, thus requiring larger beds, i have a queen-sized mattress and queen-sized sheets and blankets and all the great old iron beds are no larger than full-sized. it's truly tragic. every time i see a wonderful old iron bed i try to imagine how to squeeze my super-sized mattress onto it, but i've had to reconcile myself to buying a new bed. and i have done! finally! i found a bed and was able to purchase it for 20% off, assuaging my guilt over spending so much money at once, and i've ordered it! so now i feel that i'm officially an adult since i will have a "real" bed with headboard and footboard.

i also took advantage of the 20% discount to purchase a medicine cabinet for our bathroom remodel that will take place at some time in the near future. i've been looking for just such a cabinet on craigslist and etsy, wanting to buy antiques

or used furniture as much as possible, but have found nothing similar. craigslist has plenty of retired bathroom furniture for purchase if you are looking to remodel your bathroom in the motif of ugly-80's-faux-wood-hideousness style. however, this is not my particular taste. or if you like old rusty metal medicine cabinets that would require updated tetanus shots. again, not my heart's desire. this is exactly what i wanted and i'm more excited than ever about the bathroom project. so, now we've got the tub (although it needs some tlc), the sink with faucet, the medicine cabinet, the toilet (reusing our current toilet), and a tall metal cabinet for storage. still need: flooring, tiles or wainscoting for the walls,lighting, hooks or towel bars, and the fixtures for the bathtub. does anyone have any good suggestions for the bathtub fixtures? we'll need the usual faucet, but we'll also need to be able to use it as a shower. i've thought about just using regular shower fixtures and running the plumbing up in the wall, but they also make some clawfoot tub combo faucet/shower fixtures. what do you guys think? i want it to be cheap but look nice. is that asking too much?

standing in john lewis' shoes

2010-11-12T22:10:00.012-06:00

i was doing so good about blogging regularly but it's been an incredibly busy 3 weeks or so at work so i've just had nothing but school on the brain. i dream about it, wake up thinking about stacks of paperwork, and drive to school thinking about what i should do in my class today because i didn't have time to make a lesson plan, drive home after staying an hour later at work than i'd planned, fix dinner, sleep, and start the whole thing over again. and watch an occasional football game or 2 or so.

anyway, today i did a lesson with my social development class that i loved so i thought i should blog about that since i have nothing else to blog about. this class has all of my students with emotional disturbance or behavior disorders and we're doing a unit on self-awareness and self-management. one of the objectives of the unit is that students will learn to think from others' perspectives, or to put themselves in others' shoes, which, as you know, is really hard for almost all teenagers to do and next to impossible for emotionally disturbed teens to do! the part of the brain that deals with empathy is not fully developed until adulthood, which explains why many teenagers act like sociopaths. i'm being dramatic for comic effect...sort of.

so today, we did a"putting-yourself-in-someone-else's-shoes" activity. i did a photo history of john lewis, starting with a photo of the young activist john lewis marching in protest of segregation in the south during the civil rights movement in the 60's (this picture was actually AFTER the "bloody sunday" incident, when john lewis left his hospital bed to finish the march...pictured on the right in the blue sweater).

we discussed the background of peaceful protests, sit-ins, freedom rides, marches, etc. then i asked my students to think about how they would feel if they were in john lewis' shoes: what would they be thinking while they marched? how would they feel? what would they see? what would they hear? they talked about feeling aching feet, tired legs, but feeling strong because what they were doing was important. some students said they would feel scared because of walking through the south as a black man and some said they would feel unafraid because they weren't marching alone.

the next picture i showed was of the state troopers that waited for the unarmed marchers on the other side of the bridge and then began hitting people with clubs, and john lewis on the ground trying to cover his head from the blows. the next picture was of john lewis, with a bandage on the back of his head, being arrested and thrown into jail. then, a picture of john lewis next to a young civil rights activist (a white man), both splattered with blood. for the first time all year, every one of my students' eyes were glued to the images, they did not look away. they asked questions about rosa parks and lynchings and brown vs. the board of ed and segregation and slavery (one student asked if i thought slavery came naturally to people back then and why was it that the black people were taken as slaves...hard questions.) and harriet tubman and the underground railroad. hello! do not get me started talking about history, i won't be able to stop!

the last picture that i showed was a picture in 2008, washington, d.c. the mall crowded with millions of people and newly elected president obama walking down the steps of the capitol building balcony to give his inaugural speech. but he stops and hugs a man from the crowd as he passes. this man is, now older, now a CONGRESSMAN, john lewis.

i asked the students: what do you think he felt in this moment? what did he see around him? what did he hear? what was he thinking? they said that he probably felt overwhelmed, joyful, proud, emotional, but in a good way. then, i read to them an article that congressman lewis wrote about how he felt on that day and what it meant to him. we talked about how president obama is proof that peoples' attitudes can change and that our country is able to learn from past mistakes and that even people who didn't agree with obama's politics celebrated on that day because of what it meant for this country, that his election could occur in the same lifetime as segregation and jim crow south and heinous acts of discrimination. imagine! just imagine what john lewis has witnessed in his very own lifetime!

congressman lewis is one of my favorite people in the history of our country and i was overcome with emotion when i saw him on the balcony of the capitol building, hugging president obama. i love sharing his story with students and i want them to put themselves there, in his head, in his shoes, and learn to see from others' perspectives and empathize and learn that history is important because it's a chance to learn from the mistakes of the past and apply these lessons to their own lives. i want them to know that there is a place for protesting, and expressing their opinions, and raising objections, and defying social norms and that is when it is for the common good, for human rights. my students can be particularly defiant, oppositional, argumentative, deviant. most of the time they are labeled "bad kids." but maybe there's a place for defiant, oppositional, and argumentative people, if only we would learn to direct our passions at a worthy purpose!

the anti-design post...and random thoughts on football and cats

2010-10-28T11:24:00.009-05:00

i do sometimes like to post about my design ideas and projects, although this is not strictly a design blog as i am neither a designer nor a focused-enough blogger to have a single-themed blog. if your heart's desire is to read a design-renovation-education-green-sports-rants-gardening-photos-books-movies-culture blog, you are in just the right place!

anyway, my design personality takes a bit of a back seat in the fall when school starts and football season commences and my energy and creativity levels drop significantly. so today i have for you the anti-design post! apologies for the foggy cell phone pics. i will warn you, i usually avoid letting people see my house in this condition if it can be helped. prepare yourselves. if only un-made beds, piles of laundry, stacks of mail, mountains of leaves, and towers of dirty dishes were aesthetically pleasing! my house would be featured in every home and garden and design magazine in the land!

in other news, it has been two weeks since k-state was able to reclaim some of their former dominance at ku's memorial stadium, and we have since lost to baylor (i've been in complete denial this week, i can barely get the words out now...it's shameful really. i don't care if baylor's offense is better and if people want to say that it is not the baylor of old...it's still bad to lose to baylor). but, i will allow myself to remember with joy how the ku fans were already clearing out of the stadium at half time and how carson coffman looked like a quarterback for the first time in his college career! here's some pics from the 3rd quarter: note the empty stands except for the corner filled with purple!

finally, it's been a while since i've posted pics of my little love-y cats. they get so snuggly when the weather starts to change...looks as if they actually like each other! here's some shots of percy, quite the snuggler!

failure

2010-10-21T18:38:00.005-05:00

i feel like i only ever write about my students when there's something sad, or dramatic, or challenging to report. perhaps it's because i need to process these moments the most and writing is a platform for reflecting. it's not that there's never any good moments to celebrate, i definitely celebrate even the smallest, tiniest of things. but sometimes celebrating can feel a little like bragging. look, basically, i just haven't posted in a few weeks and felt the need to post again and this is what is on my mind, so...

...i feel like i'm failing my students every day. i don't say this because i want or need sympathetic pats-on-the-back from anyone. i'm not asking for that. it's just how i feel almost all of the time and i need my people, my friends and family, to know that i feel it all day long every day. because it's part of me.

the fact is that i can see what my kids need and can't always give it. i've read their histories, i've talked to their doctors, parents, foster parents, case managers, court-appointed guardians, probation officers, etc and there are so many deep and troubling issues that they are dealing with every minute of their days and i KNOW that makes it impossible for them to focus on anything else, least of all algebra and history and ACTs. the fact is that i believe very much in education and the importance of having it and the scandalousness of wasting it, but there's so much more to their lives than what happens at school. i second-guess my interactions with my students all the time; i wonder if i should be teaching my classes differently, structuring my program differently; i wonder if i'm doing what's right for them, should i be more lenient, or less lenient, more flexible, or establish firmer boundaries, give more support, or let them stand on their own more. it's overwhelming to feel this way.

there's not a lot in my students' lives that i have control of. i can't change their pasts, i can't force them to make good choices or make the most of their education, and i can't force them to get enough sleep and eat the right foods and take their medications. i can't fill all the holes in their lives. they need more than i am. i only have a few hours a day, a social development class, the intervention room (the classroom i work in where kids can come get academic help or use as a place to cool down...i call it the "free speech zone" so they can say whatever they need to say without worrying about getting into trouble!), and my ED/BD "program." that's all i can control, and even those things have some parameters that i can't manipulate. so i think i get overwhelmed by trying not to mess up what little i have that i can control. it's that perfectionistic thing...i'm afraid to make a mistake, because i feel like i can't afford it, because there is already too much failure surrounding my students' lives.

sorry if that's depressing. i know i need to do this job and i know i have an opportunity to make it whatever my students need it to be, the ED/BD program, that is. i care about my students and i have to get used to dealing with a lot of sad, frustrating, and irritating situations. sometimes it just gets to me. i guess i just wanted to share that with you guys.

more than the average man...

2010-10-13T18:26:00.003-05:00

so apparently, according to some statistic from usa today, the average man watches 3-6 hours of football a week. now, if you're not a football fan, you're probably thinking, "that's a lot of time to spend watching a game!" and you're probably thinking that because you're relating watching of sports to watching regular tv shows, which are 30 minutes to an hour long. so you're thinking, "that's 6 episodes of grey's anatomy" or "that's 3-6 episodes of glee!" but, if you're a football fan, you realize that 3-6 hours is really only 1-2 games a week (although there are only four 15-minute quarters and a 20-minute halftime, you also have to factor in all of the stop time...time outs, between plays, injuries, booth reviews, penalties, etc). first of all, that statistic has GOT to be a big fat lie. second of all, it's now official: i watch more football than the average man.

to my first point, you CANNOT convince me that the average man only watches 1-2 games a week. but, i suppose if you're only counting watching football games, and not factoring in time spent listening to sports radio, checking scores or fantasy football online, and watching other non-football sports, then that statistic may be accurate. to my second point, i think i EASILY watch 3-6 hours of football a DAY on saturdays AND sundays. this should come as no surprise to anyone that knows me, so don't judge. plus, i listen to sports radio whilst (i like that word and have committed myself to using it more frequently) driving to and from school everyday (it's the only way i can manage to stay awake). and i watch at least part of sports center almost every day. i also attend ksu football games. and SOMETIMES i even watch multiple football games at once, channel-surfing between the games that most interest me. i actually rank the games that are playing simultaneously according to my interest level and that is the order by which i rotate through the channels. think i'm troubled yet? i also play sports two evenings per week. i play soccer with a "co-ed" league on wednesdays and a women's league on thursdays. and by "co-ed" i mean 13 men and 1 woman (me...yeah, it takes some amount of courage or moxy or something).

all this has proven to me that i am one big giant freak show. but that's ok. i don't anticipate that is going to change anytime in the near future so we might as well all get comfortable. and i'll get comfortable whilst (haha) cozying up on my couch with football on my tv and the remote in my hand poised to switch to the next game during the commercial break.

the theatre and the cinema

2010-10-02T22:08:00.010-05:00

theater or theatre? i never know.

anyway, i would like to take a moment to brag a little bit. my sister, theresa, is in the process of showing one of her plays. it's a BIG deal. she was accepted for a fellowship allowing her to have the performance space to show. she wrote and is directing the play and my brother is part of the cast. beaming. click here to find out more about the company she started. here are some of the reviews (there are some names mentioned that may seem obscure if you're not a theater person, but you should know this is HUGE!!):

"A zigzagging Orwellian sonata of multimedia effects and workplace procedure... compelling and multifaceted."
- Mitch Montgomery, Backstage

"Field 309 is delivered to you straight out of the media hype of the current economic crisis... Writer/director Theresa Buchheister deserves great commendation for her pointed, stylized, and efficient script and overall inventive vision which guides this play so successfully. The performers are all strong individually and make a great ensemble. I highly recommend getting down to the Incubator Arts Project to check this one out (with or without your supervisor's approval)."
- Heather Lee Rogers, NYTheatre.Com

"Richard Foreman may have left the building, but his spirit and style loom large over the current production at the Incubator Arts Project. This amusing new dark comedy draws on familiar aesthetics ... to create a work that is part Foreman, part Beckett and part The Office."
- Andy Horowitz, CultureBot

isn't that just so exciting???

ok, now about the cinema. you know how on netflix you can rate the movies you've seen? well, this is just too fun for me, combines my "skill" for criticism and my desire to do absolutely nothing productive on this particular saturday. so i've decided to post a list of my 4- and 5-star rated films, because i know it's exactly what you've all been waiting for...my opinion. and because i've nothing better to blog about right now. little disclaimer: this is a very fluid, ever-evolving list as i change my mind quite frequently and my choices are much to do with my current movie "moods." also, this is not necessarily my list of "favorites" (although many of my favorites are scattered throughout the list) but my top-rated movies. some of these, i'll never watch again as they are too uncomfortable or painful to watch, although beautifully made. so, the list:

5 stars:

1. amelie

2. chocolate

3. crash

4. dead poets society

5. good will hunting

6. emma (1996 version)

7. a good year

8. harry potter movies

9. lord of the rings series

10. pride and prejudice (both the 1995 TV series and the 2005 movie)

11. slumdog millionaire

12. walk the line

13. glory

14. a beautiful mind

15. much ado about nothing

16. love actually

17. inception

4 stars:

1. about a boy

2. amadeus

3. american history X

4. awakenings

5. best in show

6. the bourne trilogy

7. braveheart

8. brokeback mountain

9. chariots of fire

10. dan in real life

11. edward scissorhands

12. the family stone

13. fantastic mr. fox

14. fight club

15. frost nixon

16. girl with a dragon tattoo

17. good night and good luck

18. the holiday

19. in her shoes

20. jane eyre (2006 version)

21. juno

22. the kite runner

23. life is beautiful

24. little miss sunshine

25. mansfield park

26. o brother where art thou?

27. office space

28. philadelphia

29. the proposal

30. the queen

31. rachel getting married

32. sherlock holmes

33. a single man

34. stranger than fiction

35. the pianist

36. son of rambow

37. run fatboy run

38. hoosiers

39. get low

so, what do you think? agree? disagree? additions? i've got free netflix for a month so give me some feedback about your favorite movies that may have been left off the list so i can add them to my queue!

get your literary fix

2010-09-28T20:37:00.002-05:00

i consider myself an avid reader and a fan of a wide range of literary genres. i've been steadily working my way through some of the "classics" and re-reading classics that i read as a child or in high school, but must not have been overly-focused as i have hardly any memory of doing so. in honor of my reading addiction i'm posting this link to The Modern Library's 100 top novels list. there are also links you can click on to see the top 100 non-fiction list, etc. as much as i consider myself an avid reader, and as smart as i'd like to think i am, i have to admit i've ready shockingly few of the books on these lists. and i was also surprised by some books left off of the lists.

my favorite books (to date) off of the lists: brideshead revisited (evelyn waugh...a summer 2010 favorite, beautiful book), the great gatsby (f. scott fitzgerald), to kill a mockingbird (harper lee...atticus is one of my all-time favorite characters), a prayer for owen meany (john irving...i was definitely captivated for the duration of this novel, but there's always something subtly, or not subtly, disturbing about irving's novels...i've read several and had the same thought each time...especially the world according to garp...disturbing)

books i've been stocking up but have yet to read: other evelyn waugh novels, henry james, e.m. forster, ayn rand is on the list for several of her books (i've just never been very interested in the genre, but i feel i HAVE to read her), and LOTS of books i'm ashamed to say i've never read!

books i love that were excluded from the lists: maya angelou's autobiographies, tolstoy, dickens, jane austen, the diary of anne frank,...oh crumb, i can't think of any others at this moment. of course.

check it out, see what you think, let me know which books you've read and your critiques. it'll be our own little book review. hutsoneister's book review. hmmm. i like books, i am critical, sounds like a career at which i could excel!

flavors...and football follow-up

2010-09-13T21:29:00.006-05:00

so, i have been thinking about food for the past few days. oh, who am i kidding, i'm forever thinking about food, a trend that goes back much further than just the past few days. but anyway, i have been thinking about my favorite flavor combinations and realized that many of my favorite flavors utilize the same few ingredients. so i decided to write about my top 10 ingredients. 10 ingredients that i just can't live without; so basic, yet able to be combined in unexpected pairs. or at least unexpected to the lay-cook, with my lay-palate. perhaps not so unexpected to a professional cook's palate. so, here's my top 10 ingredients (and how i typically use them), not in any preferential order:

1. oils: sesame oil and coconut oil are two particular favorites of mine. coconut oil is supposed to be a fairly healthy option, no trans fats. both of these oils have a slightly more interesting taste than your run-of-the-mill canola or cheap-o superstore brand olive oil. i like to use coconut oil to sauté instead of using butter. sesame oil is particularly yummy to use in dishes when no cooking is involved because there are some oils that no one would prefer to taste (or you have to invest in REALLY good, REALLY expensive extra virgin olive oil), but sesame oil has a generally good taste to it. it goes well with asian-inspired dishes and can be combined with soy sauce, toasted sesame seeds, veggies, and noodles (try soba or whole wheat spag noodles + edamame + sesame oil + toasted sesame seeds...mmm.).

2. organic chicken/vegetable broth: choose the low sodium variety so you can salt to taste; this is just a good basic ingredient to keep in your pantry at all times; use to make soups, chicken pot pie, or steam veggies, quinoa, or rice for a little more flavor.

3. fruit: i love most fruits...and even my favorite "veggies" happen to be fruits (squash, avocado, tomato). i like dried fruits, fresh fruits, cooked fruits, grilled fruits, fruit-pies, fruit salad, fruit-in-my-cereal...you name it. i like fruits with savory foods, like pork chops or chicken, or dried cherries or golden raisins in a curried rice dish, or fruit in a spinach salad with feta cheese and almonds, avocado and tomato salad (with simple salt and pepper), avocado with eggs, home-made guacamole, or grilled peaches and plums with cinnamon, sugar, cayenne (see spices), and topped with vanilla ice cream. delightful.

4. pasta: there's just so much you can do with pasta; it's easy to feed a lot of people on a little pasta; it's easy to cook, easy to experiment, good with a glass of red wine, and a little sprinkling of parmesan on top (see cheeses). i love to cook a bowl of pasta and toss in yesterday's leftovers from the grill (grilled chicken and veggies) with a little splash of oil and sprinkling of cheese.

5. eggs: another easy meal. scrambled with a soft cheese (my ~~mom~~ dad used to always make scrambled eggs with cream cheese...so good), fluffy omelette with peppers, onions and avocado or mushrooms and thyme, crepes with steaming blueberries and brie (see fruit and cheeses), or french toast (if you haven't had my french toast, you should come over for breakfast sometime!). our neighbors have hens, so we try to either use their eggs or we buy eggs from cage-free, grain-fed hens at the grocery. you'll notice a difference in taste. more flavorful. i hope this isn't bragging, but i'm rather good at cooking eggs. sometimes we'll go out for breakfast and there's really not an egg dish on any menu that i could not cook better. largely because eggs taste best hot off the skillet, not heated under a warmer while waiting for the rest of the order to fill.

6. spinach: spinach is my go-to green. we always keep it on hand for salads or to chop up and add to almost any dish to add extra nutrients! if you can't tell, i'm not a huge veggie-lover (unless you count my fruit-veggies!), so any way to add extra veggies into my diet is a must. I chop it finely and add to pasta dishes, omelettes, and my chicken pot pie. i don't particularly love cooked spinach but when you chop it in fine ribbons it doesn't clump quite so much. also, try adding it to hot dishes at the very last second so it does not completely wilt.

7. cayenne pepper/spices: i love all spices, especially cinnamon, nutmeg, and cayenne. i use these three in almost everything, sometimes all together! cayenne + dark chocolate (thank you mexico!) is one of my favorite flavor combos. i also add cayenne to fruit salads and eat with a good soft cheese. i sprinkle cinnamon on frying bacon (no joke!) or add nutmeg to creamy pasta dishes (i know, sounds strange, but it's good...promise). the key is not to over-do-it. in the mornings i usually make a chocolate protein powder + soy milk + cinnamon + cold coffee shake for myself so that i can consume my breakfast while driving to work, thus allowing myself to hit the snooze button one last time.

8. thyme/basil: i've been fairly successful growing herbs (fingers crossed!) so i enjoy adding them into just about everything. i have two flavors of thyme growing right now (one variety that i got from my mom's garden is a little bit lemon-y). basil makes a good addition to a toasty panini sandwich!

9. cheese: top 3 cheeses for me are brie/camembert, feta, and parmesan. but i also love blocks of cheddar, mozzerella, etc. no stinky cheeses for me, though. there's almost too much to say about cheeses. i honestly don't think i could live without them. cheese makes everything better. trying to eat more salads? no problem, just add feta. what would pizza be without cheese?? cheese makes my world go 'round. ok, that's just a little overly dramatic.

10. honey: a good substitute for sugar. add to fruit salads, grilled fruit, oatmeal, or marinades for pork or chicken. one of my favorite breakfasts is toasted walnut sage bread (from Wheatfields in downtown Lawrence), with a little bit of brie cheese and honey.

so, that was my top 10 ingredients list. if you haven't tried some of those ingredients, you really should. i don't really do recipes (i just kind of eye-ball it!) but if you want to know how i cook something, just leave a comment.

here are a few cookbooks i've picked up recently. In the Kitchen with a Good Appetite includes recipes with lots of fun stories and tips from the author, Melissa Clark. her approach to food seems to be similar to mine: keep it simple, but still interesting. she also has an entire chapter about breakfast foods for dinner (clearly i feel the same, particularly about eggs!) and another entire chapter devoted to cheese (hello!). Everyday Italian features a lot of great pictures so that i can get inspiration from photographs instead of having to read a recipe! i tend to like picture-cookbooks! the last book is a little gem i found in 1/2 Price Bookstore printed in 1963 featuring recipes and cooking techniques/trends throughout the ages in European history...pretty fascinating! i'll probably NEVER cook anything from this book, but it is still very interesting to me!

ok, in keeping with my recent trend of bipolar-blogging (that's the term i've coined for my range of unrelated blogging topics): i will now discuss my thoughts about ku football to follow up on my take on turner gill from last weekend. i have to say, i am utterly stumped. i have no words. i cannot fathom how a team that lost at home to a 1-AA team, who wasn't even able to score a single touchdown, managed to beat the 15/17th ranked Georgia Tech yellow jackets! it makes no sense at all. i still stand by my opinion that coaches should not name a starting quarter back one week and bench the same QB in a knee-jerk reaction to a loss that cannot be entirely pinned on said QB. but, i have to admit that, in this case, it appears that switch made a difference for ku this week. what i cannot understand is: did jordan webb suddenly show up in practice this past week, only after kale pick was dumped as starter? or was he always that good and the coaching staff erroneously decided to start kale pick for some unknown reason? sure, he's more experienced. sure, jordan webb's a redshirt freshman. but i just cannot believe that there was such a discernible difference that only became apparent after that hideous showing against NDSU in KU's opening game. turner gill opted to start webb, but still gave kale pick some playing time against GTech...i think probably just to maintain diplomatic relations with kale should he have any need to go back to him as starter. so, i guess i will withhold judgment for now, because, honestly, i just do not know what to expect. i felt like my predictions were pretty safe last week. no one seems to be able to explain that quick of a turn around, so neither will i. it defies logic.

i am NOT ok with that (sports edition)

2010-09-10T18:22:00.005-05:00

i am thinking of starting a new strand of posts called "i am NOT ok with that" in which i can voice my protests over certain preferred topics. for example, today's edition of "i am NOT ok with that" will feature my thoughts on happenings in the sports world this past week (psst! friends of mine that are not so interested in sports: please do read it, i think there will be enough entertainment for all! or at least have your sports-minded spouses/siblings/friends read and comment!). in the future, though, there will surely be other editions featuring my thoughts on education, books, music, movies, and other categories. so, i need some feedback. what do you think of the title for these posts? those of you who know me well and talk to me often know that i frequently say things such as "that's a deal-breaker!" or "that's a problem for me!" or "i am NOT ok with that!" so i wanted to stick with a title that is befitting my typical lingo. i also considered the title "what's wrong in the world of ___" but that seems too similar to nick wright's sports radio segment called "what's wrong with nick wright." so, weigh in. shall i stick with the current title, or do you prefer one of the other options?

onto the rant. this week, i am not ok with:

1. carson coffman (ksu QB) - i am not saying that i will NEVER be ok with coffman, or that i think synder should bench him (let's not be as hasty as coach gill please). but for this week, i am not ok. i am not ok with his shoddy footwork and half-hearted 3-step drop (which really is more of a 2-step shuffle). i am not ok with coffman holding onto the ball instead of throwing out of bounds or through the back of the endzone when a play is busted. i am not ok with passes behind, above, or at the knees of wide open receivers. i'm just saying.

2. turner gill (ku football coach) - it's not that i didn't thoroughly (and devilishly) enjoy ku's miserable loss to a 1-AA (or whatever it's called this year) NDSU team...because i did. it's not even that i don't like gill for mangino's successor because frankly he is more disciplined and less offensive than mangino. it's that he couldn't just admit that saturday's 6-3 loss AT HOME was plain bad. he gave us coach-speak. he said, "it's just one game. it's the first game." excuses! just call a spade a spade! it was atrocious! if you can't say that the game was bad it's like saying that you're ok with that kind of loss if for the sake of progress and i can't think of any ku fan or big XII fan that thinks that loss is ok. gill's response to the game made me all the more appreciative of coaches that are willing to address the bad and the good equally. coach gill, it's ok to say that "this loss stinks!" because it did. and what's more, gill followed up the stinky loss, and empty, meaningless post-game comments with the hasty decision to bench kale pick (QB) and start webb in his place. my opinion: what's the harm in having pick start for at least another week? you're playing Georgia Tech (#15) this week; no one expects ku to win, let's see what kind of fire that pathetic loss may light under pick's butt. see if he progresses, see if he learned anything from that humiliation. why stick webb out there as a lamb for slaughter? then you'll have two ruined quarterbacks. but he didn't ask for my opinion on the matter.

3. misogynistic callers-in to sports radio shows. ignorant listener on the nick wright show today said, and i quote, that he hates that when women call into the show they automatically get bumped to the front of the queue and they never have anything good to say and how he despises having to watch his precious sports with women and how he wishes that women would just shut up and get him another beer. no lie. no exaggeration. he actually said it. nick's response: "well, that was borderline sexist! and by borderline i mean completely crossing the line!" thanks, nick. do i really need to explain why this particular item made my rant list for the week? i'm not even going to spend time or space defending my honor. i defy sexist caller-in guy to find a sports topic for which he is more knowledgeable than i. defy. i'll show him where he can put his beer. grrr.

4. daniel thomas having NO chance to win the heisman trophy. i promise i am not just being a giant homer, i'm always try to have some objectivity. after a 235-yard effort against a BCS conference team in UCLA, thomas was 12th on the list of heisman candidates. listed ahead of him: alabama's ingram, who is not even currently PLAYING after knee surgery and is unsure of his return date, and a mixture of other players that had impressive stats against some impressive and some not-so-impressive opponents. and this week, national heisman voters will not even have a chance to watch thomas destroy missouri state's defense because the game will not be televised. not only is ksu's game not televised, neither is missouri, nebraska (only on pay-per-view), texas a & m, and oklahoma state, and texas tech is only showing locally. the big XII cannot expect to have a viable heisman candidate now or in the near future (unless said candidate is from texas or oklahoma) and cannot expect to be taken seriously as a conference if it can't figure out a way to get it's teams' games on tv. for now it's more tales of woe and pity about how the midwest is ignored, underestimated, and underrepresented in the national media...well no wonder.

5. billy ray cyrus. the chiefs' big plans for unveiling the new arrowhead stadium on their home-opener on monday night football on national television is...billy ray cyrus? what?? country music is bad enough. but then, you can't even find a current country singing star?? i'm sorry, billy ray cyrus may have shed the permed mullet (aka permllet...yeah, kyle hutson, you know what i'm talking about) but he's still got a shorter version of a mullet back there and he is still the culprit behind achey breaky heart. seriously, chiefs?? is that the best you've got?? arg.

i think that's enough for now. have a good weekend! go cats!

staying (or getting back) in shape post-20's and football

2010-09-03T19:45:00.007-05:00

if you'll allow me to rant a bit...

sometimes a good rant is in order because you have no one to be mad with but yourself and you can't really row with yourself without looking crazy so you have to just put it out there and hope someone identifies with and understands you. and you hope that you won't be judged for thinking extreme thoughts and feeling exaggerated feelings about something that is not all that uncommon and relatively insignificant. so here we go:

probably more frustrating than accepting my post-20's-now-in-my-30's flabbier self is that i can't physically DO what i want to do, and envision myself doing. because even if i am unhappy with how i look or what size i wear or whatever cliche thing that almost all women in their 30's think toward themselves, i think that if i could still run miles and miles, or play a full soccer game on a full-sized pitch, or confidently play pick-up soccer and basketball with "the guys" like i used to do without much effort, that maybe i wouldn't feel quite so defeated. it's difficult enough to "get oneself back" without adding to it the new and unfamiliar challenges of achey knees, plantar fasciitis, hip bursitis, jiggling belly, rubbing-together legs, sweat-from-strange-places, and what feels like weight-induced asthma (did i make that up?? i've heard of allergy-induced asthma and seasonal asthma, both diagnoses which i have claimed, but now i'm certain it's just extra-flab-induced asthma). sorry if that is too graphic. but it's terribly uncomfortable to try to do the same activities i have always loved with extra poundage. i used to run with my mom (who is 5'3" to my 5'6") in high school and we always bickered about who should set the pace because my stride was longer and quicker than her little legs would manage (but she always outlasted me...classic tortoise and hare). i miss that stride. i liked that stride. now i shuffle instead of running. i plod. plod plod plod. (onomatopoeia).

last weekend i had a particularly defeating attitude. i was wallowing. i couldn't seem to get myself moving and i made terrible food choices all weekend long. when, finally, i peeled myself off of the couch and went for a run on sunday evening after thinking about running all weekend long and everyday the previous week, i realized as i plodded along how much more difficult i am making it for myself! i got mad at myself. i was mad in a good way, the kind of mad that makes me DO something...anything! kirk and i went running again on monday or tuesday and i was complaining (poor kirk) about how difficult it was and how frustrating, blah, blah. he was trying to comfort me, saying "at least we're doing something, it's better than nothing." i stopped him. i told him i don't want to be comforted, i don't want to feel good about where i am right now. i don't want to feel good about shuffling. i don't want to feel good about only being able to run a few miles when that is so far from my goal (if you're not a runner, i know you're thinking a few miles sounds good, but if you're a runner you know how much it stinks to run fewer than 3 miles and struggle through the whole process! if you're not a runner, think about something you like to do and are good at and think about how it feels to do less than you expect of yourself...it stinks). i don't want to be comfortable. comfortable is what has gotten me here. "comfortable" is what makes me want to eat things that aren't good for me and avoid vegetables. it's not comfortable to eat grilled chicken and salad after a rough day at work. it's more comfortable to eat pizza. it's not comfortable to get up early to run, it's more comfortable to sleep later. it's not comfortable to discipline oneself, it's not comfortable to sweat, and run up hills, and sprint the last 2 blocks, and push yourself, and it's not comfortable to be sore the next day...but i love that. it's not comfortable to face my disappointment with myself and a closet full of 2-sizes-too-small clothing that hasn't been worn in years. it's comfortable to avoid and justify and make excuses and it's comfortable to just keep eating too much, drinking soda, and scarfing ~~yummy~~ unhealthy food so that i don't have to think about changing myself. no, i definitely don't want to be comfortable.

i wonder...does anyone else think about things like this??

anyway. so for now, i'm going to let myself stay mad. mad mendy. beware.

now, on to fun things: football!

i'm going to manhattan for the opening game of the 2010 ksu season. woopwoop. i honestly do not know what to expect because the media predictions are for k-state to be in the middle of the big XII north. but, as ever, bill snyder has

been elusive and vague about his expectations for the team, waiting until the 11th hour to name carson coffman the starting QB (provoking questions as to whether there was actually competition for the spot or snyder was merely electing not to reveal all of his cards, so to speak). there is great anticipation for thomas to have a record-setting season, but what will this look like in an era of spread offenses? is thomas our only viable offensive threat? as for the game this weekend, we face a UCLA that went to a bowl game last year but is only returning one starter from that team. most people are counting k-state out in this game, but i think we may have a chance (eek. i hate making predictions) and here's why: home field advantage, opening day, bill snyder (he notoriously keeps a few unsung talented players tucked up his sleeve and out of the media's scrutinizing eye), thomas, and an inexperienced UCLA team. no guarantees. just possibilities.

please don't forget...

2010-08-28T17:25:00.005-05:00

...the deadline to submit photos for the 2010 River To Well Photography Competition is September 1!! The funds from the submissions and sales of any photographs will help build a well in South Africa. You don't have to be a professional...student, amateur, and professional entries are accepted. See the website for more information and to submit your photos!

I finally narrowed it down to these three photos of my own:

hard things

2010-08-25T19:37:00.005-05:00

so, now that school has begun, i'm afraid my blog will take a slightly different turn. during the summer i had a good little run of thrifting/gardening/renovating/green/idea blog posts. and, while i think those posts are most entertaining, the reality is that i'm a teacher first and foremost and, just like my occasional sports-rants, i must indulge my need to talk about the things that occupy most of the time and energy in my one-track brain. so, if you've noticed a change, and you are expecting the thrifting/gardening/renovating/green/idea mendy, i apologize, these posts will be less frequent, but i ask that you please chalk it up to "seeing a window into my friend mendy's day."

hard things:

*there have been several tragic events that our students are dealing with: a former student was killed last week and a student's brother was killed this week, both instances being investigated as murders; many students live in neighborhoods where drugs and drop-outs are the prominent influence and it shapes their thoughts and conversations; students are working to support their families and dealing with issues of relative poverty...i don't mean to be overly dramatic or speak in cliches (you're probably thinking "this sounds like a teacher-faces-indescribable-challenges-in-an-urban-school-with-a-leather-jacket-and-a-rap-soundtrack inspirational movie i've seen before"). however, this has all been a reality for the students, and not limited to the past 2 weeks since the beginning of the new school year. and i think it's important to tell you this because this is quite different from my own experiences of the "first days" of school, and i'm sure it's different from many of yours also. i worried about what to wear on the first day of school and what friends would have lunch at the same time as me and having to share a car with my dad (injustice!). well, my students think about those things too, but they are preoccupied with much more serious things as well.

*completely unrelated to the first bullet point (because, honestly, to teach there you have to get used to those things and you can't be shocked by everything all the time), yesterday a "dark cloud of doom" hovered over me at work. (gosh - i've restarted this paragraph 4 times now because i'm trying to be careful about what i say on a public forum about my job and my students...if it seems vague, i'm sorry. please know that i LOVE my job, my colleagues, and my students, so any expression of disappointment or discouragement is temporary and not at all my general attitude) anyway, nothing was any different from the day before, my students behaved the same, the attitudes and effort i observed in students in many classes had not changed from the day before, but my own feelings of hopefulness were dampened. does this make sense? although i know that it is ludicrous to expect my students not to have behavior issues, because that is a package deal with students with behavior disorders or emotional disturbance, i found myself discouraged at lack of progress. i felt disappointed with myself because i don't have answers, or at least not any new answers, so what happens if my suggestions or solutions that worked in the past fall short? that thought made me feel desperately inadequate. i promptly called my sis on the way home from work to tell her these things and she wisely reminded me that because the only difference from monday to tuesday was how i felt that i could be assured that these feelings would soon pass. and today, there were a few small victories which lifted the "cloud" ever so slightly (see the following).

*worked with some students that were very concerned about finishing assignments and remained focused without my having to plead with them (please remember that i work with a very unique population, for which this is definitely a victory).

*had a good discussion with students about what you do does not have to be who you are (this is really important for my students who struggle to control their behavior and often feel that they are always getting into trouble for who they are) and that you can work on changing what you do to better fit your goal of who you want to become, even if it is challenging work. they seemed really to respond to this whole discussion, and eagerly dove into creating individual and group definitions of habits, looking for good quotes to discuss and share with the whole class. they seemed encouraged to have a teacher recognize their personalities and good qualities separately from their behavior. or at least i hope that is how they felt. it's hard to tell.

anyway, thanks for reading. i'm not really sure what the purpose of this post is, but sometimes there's just a lot going on and mounting up and maybe you'll think about me and my students during the day and maybe i just needed to talk about life for a bit.

p.s. cecil came in from outside smelling of cilantro. strange cat.

celebrating friday

2010-08-13T17:09:00.011-05:00

first things first: congrats are in order to Carrie and Michelle, who correctly guessed that my favorite thing about fall is ksu football (see previous post here)! the excitement actually begins to mount well before ksu kicks off their season because i really am a fan of all football and NFL training camp starts before college f-ball, thus satisfying my obsession a few weeks early. Tiff and Casey also mentioned other great things about fall: changing leaves, tea, sleeping in on a nice fall day (although that has to happen on saturdays and sundays for me in the fall...it's up at 5:00 am during the week, ick).

anyway, in celebration of it being friday, and continuing my theme of favorite things, here are some favorite things about my job/school (i'm going to be like one of those mom-bloggers right now, except instead of writing about my kids, it's my school and colleagues and students):

*my principal and colleagues are really pretty darn great. it's amazing to be in a building where everyone really values each other, even if there are differences of opinion as to how things should get done. if you work in schools, you know that just doesn't always happen and collegial dynamics can really make or break a job. also, my principal really loves my kids in particular and is so great with them which makes my job so much easier. my kids can be challenging and i just think that speaks a lot to her character.

*the great thing about working in an urban school is that our "pep band" is really just a big, awesome drum line. i love it. sometime i'll record them for you and post it on my blog so you can hear the awesomeness.

*my idea book. i like to keep a moleskine notebook around so that anytime ANY idea comes to mind i can write

it down. i don't always implement all of my ideas, but it sure does help to have a source of creative, fresh inspirations when my brain-well starts to run dry!

*i really love my students and their parents/grandparents. that does not mean that everything is always peachy...as i said, my kids can be challenging. but, you learn to recognize the hints of progress...like hearing that one of my students wrote an email to apologize to a teacher for cussing him out, or seeing one of my more reluctant students show up at my door to ask for help writing a paper, or getting a student to put his/her cell phone (otherwise known as teenage binkies) away the FIRST time i ask. i know these things seem "small" but they are huge steps for my students.

*my classroom and my great husband who helped me set it up yesterday morning! check out my reading/conference area, the beginnings of my inspiration wall (i don't actually call it that or my students would punch me in the face for being cheesy, but that's what it is), and my desk area.

goodbye to summer/favorite things

2010-08-10T22:34:00.007-05:00

i don't think school should start until it is at MOST 99 degrees, as a general rule. mainly that is because i don't think anyone should be required to do ANYTHING when it is 106 degrees outside. however, no one asked for my opinion and school has resumed regardless. i've decided that you probably want to know about my favorite things of summer, so here you go:

*world cup 2010 - the usa team created many exciting moments (there was much screaming, near-pants-peeing, and elevation of heart rates!) and the event was hosted in south africa (who provided a great opening celebration, awesome music, noisy bubuzelas, and a dancing desmond tutu). what more could a person ask for?? favorite player, you might ask? dempsey. he was always bleeding or falling or crashing into something or someone. scrappy.

*daily lap swimming at the outdoor aquatic center in lawrence...ahhhh. first of all, humans feel weightless in water...all together enjoyable feeling. secondly, it's cool in the water and it's not so cool in the not-water. thirdly, i discovered i can still actually get a tan! i thought i had lost my childhood talent for getting really brown and freckly, but not so. fourthly, i just miss swimming. i lived at the pool as a kid. we lived a block away from the city park pool in manhattan. we spent the mornings there for swim lessons, came home for lunch, and rushed back after lunch for the afternoon. it was like an extension of our backyard.

*planting a garden and watching it not die. by far my greatest accomplishment so far in life. i have not tackled anything of consequence yet, like vegetables, but i've managed to keep marigolds, roses, russian sage, lambs ear, hibiscus, and thyme alive for the summer, even despite the drought. i also have a peppermint and avocado plant that are not-quite-dead, but aren't looking great so i'm not holding my breath there.

*reading. my great summer pastime. I managed to read 4 novels, a memoir, a gardening book, 3 or four textbooks, and start a few others. i especially enjoyed finishing the girl with the dragon tattoo series (although i'm hesitant to recommend it because i never know what other people will like, or dislike, and how sensitive people may be to things that i'm not as affected by, so it's awkward...so that's my disclaimer for recommending books, and movies for that matter) and reading brideshead revisited by evelyn waugh. as always, i bought and stockpiled more books than i was able to read in one summer, but i'm holding out great hope that i will accomplish more reading during this school year now that i'm a seasoned veteran and not enduring the stress of a first year teacher. haha.

*colorado/buchheister reunion: family, hiking, mountains, biking, swimming, settlers of catan, visiting Carrie, my oldest (as in longest time known) dear friend, and no humidity. enough said.

*grilling. i just like it. i like grilling peaches and eating them with vanilla ice cream. i like grilling corn on the cob. plus, instead of me getting sweaty over a hot stove or boiling water in the kitchen, kirk gets the pleasure of roasting out in the great outdoors while he "mans" the grill.

well, there are a few of my favorite things of summer. i bet you can't guess what my absolute favorite thing of fall is! props to whomever leaves a comment with the correct answer!

eventual bathroom reno

2010-08-07T22:04:00.006-05:00

a note before i begin: on monday, i lose my summer freedom and return to school. i think i've done quite a good little job this summer of frequently updating my blog, but my life is about to get stressful and busy, so let me know if you've been reading and i will try my best to keep up with the blogging. also, photographers and f.o.p (friends of photogs), please don't forget about river to well photocompetition! i believe the deadline for entry is coming up in september! ok, onto the renovating...

so eventually, hopefully next summer (fingers crossed!!!), we're going to totally gut the bathroom, rip up floors, tear out yucky plastic shower and awful countertop, demo gross paneled walls and ceiling, and totally renovate the little tiny 6 x 8 ft room. i would like to do this as cheaply as possible and use as many non-new things as possible! i'm going to try looking on craigslist for everything first, but if we can't find what we need, we may need to buy new. we're going to reuse our toilet, we have that light blue cabinet pictured in my previous post for storage, and that's about it! here are some of our finds so far:

1) free bathtub hook-up from kirk's mom! we're going to refinish the inside and strip and paint the outside obviously (unless pink and brown icky paint becomes the trend in the next year!). have any of you ever refinished a clawfoot tub?? we're trying to do this economically, yet professionally, if that's possible. we'll also have to buy the shower curtain ring and shower converter at some point. the tub is only 4.5 ft long which is just about perfect for our tiny bathroom and just long enough to sit in comfortably for the 2 times a year i actually take baths.

2) pedestal sink with faucet from craigslist for $125 total! from what we can tell, if we bought this new we probably would have spent about $60-100 or more for the basin, $60-100 for the pedestal, and no less than $100 for the faucet, so i think that's a good deal!

other things we're looking for: lighting, tile, flooring (unless we find hardwood floors under the yucky laminate), medicine cabinet, fixtures (like towel bars, toilet paper holder, etc). if any of you guys see cool vintage/salvaged/antique options for medicine cabinets, let me know. that could end up being a big expense!

also here's another picture of my cute globe and back issues of magazines purchased from my antique shopping day with tiff. just 'cause i like it.

out on the town with tiff...and antique/junk/thriftstore finds

2010-07-26T10:46:00.017-05:00

tiffany and i went antique store shopping and had lunch on friday for a nice little girls day out on the town. i picked up this cute little globe (i think percival approves...he's currently sleeping on the base of it). tiff and i discussed pieces of furniture that we have "issues" with, like no matter how full your house is, or how many of this item you may already have, you can't keep yourself from being pulled toward these pieces anyway. for me, it's antique dressers, chairs, and industrial furniture (file cabinets, metal desks, etc). and bookshelves! but at least the bookshelves serve a purpose for my other "habit." i'm currently having to stack books 2-deep in my over-six-feet-tall bookshelf, not to mention the hundreds of books that i've taken to school so that i can further hide my habit from kirk. hehe. one of the projects that i want to do is turn my big hall closet into a library, as you see here from real simple magazine:

(sorry about the blurry phone-pics...my camera is in the shop being cleaned...let's just pretend that i took these hazy, vintagey-looking photos on purpose! i'm a creative genious!).

anyway, doesn't that library look wonderful?? i told kirk that he might as well get over it, because i'm never going to stop buying

books, and i just don't take enough books to sell back to half price bookstore (love!) to keep up with my habit. and as far as vices go, it could be worse...

anyway, i've had a bit of antique/ junkshop/thriftstore/craigslist luck lately. here are more of my finds:

1. farm table (from locust street marketplace antique store in lawrence) and white enamel lamp shades ($5 each at habitat restore)

2. another pic of the globe (notice it still has USSR on it! and all these wonky colonial names in africa).

3. cute light blue metal cabinet (locker-style) with shelves...eventually for our bathroom, once we get around to that project! ($75 craigslist, from a person who turned out to be my friend who moved to tejas...so it at least stayed in the "family")

4. handy red wheel barrow ($10 craigslist...by the way, you would be amazed how many people on craigslist think it's wheel barrel. nope, sorry folks.)

5. the last pic is of my avocado plant that i found growing in my compost pile from a discarded avocado pit! i decided to pot it and see what happens! not really a "thriftstore find" but i was really excited that i caused something to grow without even trying so i decided to post it! ok, i realize that god actually caused it to grow. stop stealing my thunder!

summer reading list and boulder pics

2010-07-22T14:57:00.021-05:00

so, i realize that summer is almost over (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) but i still haven't posted about my summer reading.

intriguing quote from the book i'm currently reading (Brideshead Revisted - Evelyn Waugh):

"'Sometimes,' said Julia, 'I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.'"

that really stuck out to me. i think i can identify with that. but that could be entire post on its own.

ok, here's the stack of summer reading:

the first stack are the books i've already read or am in the process of reading. the other two stacks are the books that i still have to read before school starts on august 9! don't think i'm going to make it!

also, here's some pics from our lovely trip to boulder, co for the buchheister family reunion. we have these every 5 years and there are descendants from my grandfather (dale buchheister) and all of his siblings(there were 12 siblings total!!!), so it's kind of a big deal. there were 110 people at the reunion this year, which is fewer than have been at previous reunions, if that gives you an idea. pretty amazing.

1. the ernie buchheisters playing on pearl street

2. hiking with kirk, my sis and bro, and some of the "cousins" (2nd cousins, a few times removed or something)

3. overlooking boulder from the not-quite-but-close-enough-to-the-top

4. theresa, me, and liz (my 1st cousin). theresa cannot be trusted with a gravy boat.

5 and 6. some of the dale buchheisters (not my brother dale, my grandfather dale) including my grandmother mary ruth, dad's brothers john and mike and their families and my family. dad's sister dalene and her family had already left by this point. confusing yet??

i'm really glad for these reunions and love my big family. it makes me sad that we can only all gather every five years but there are just so many of us and it's hard to get together in one place.

new green things

2010-07-19T22:06:00.005-05:00

well, we had to buy a new car. kirk was in a little bit of a wreck last week, he's fine, but the car is not.

so, we did a little research (and by we, i mean kirk), narrowed it down to a few cars to test-drive, test-drove (and experienced a very snobby, insulting sales person at one place - she managed to insult my name, my job, and my personality in only a 20 minute time frame!), and today we bought a car (not from the snobby insulting lady). we decided on the prius. makes the most sense for all the driving i have to do, it's super reliable, and it comes highly recommended (thank you, meesh!). so, i can add that to my checklist of green-living changes i've made! get this: the color is called pearly blizzard, or snowy pearls, or something. it's basically white.

in other green news:

*kirk and i are now composting. we have yet to use any of it for our yard, it's not fully decomposed yet. i'm bothered by our "style" as really it's just a big pile of junk behind our garage. i really would rather have a compost bin or some sort of enclosed area. oh well. also, we're learning about what can and can't go into the bin. we eat a tone of citrus fruit, but it's not good to put to much citrus into the heap as it makes the soil very acidic (makes sense). worms don't like acid so they don't do the work they need to do to decompose the compostables. but, coffee grounds are good and we've even been given the "green light" (hahaha) to pilfer big bags of grounds from the alley behind our fave coffee shop (thank you to casey's old establishment and shannon's current). their flowers look way better than mine so hopefully there's something magic in these grounds! if you are a compost-er you should leave a comment with tips, i'm still just an infant.

*i had some sort of creature or fungi attacking my flowers (i know, i just planted them, like, 2 minutes ago) and some of the rose bush leaves were turning yellow as well as something was chewing through my lambs ear leaves and hibiscus leaves. so, a friend (thank you sara p!) recommended spraying the plants with dish soap diluted with water to kill any pests. i reused a washed out stain-remover bottle to make the concoction and sprayed away! i didn't kill my plants (i'll admit, i was a little worried that they would turn brown and wilt immediately...just my luck), so we'll see if it actually works to repel the pests! so, a natural, chemical-free solution in a reused bottle...2 gold stars for me.

a little sports rant

2010-07-15T16:02:00.004-05:00

p.s. this is a pre-script (as opposed to a post-script). please, please, check out my previous post about the river to well photo competition and, if you so choose, weigh in on which 3 photos i should submit. ok, the important thing is to please submit your own photos to river to well because the more submissions, the more $ goes toward building wells in south africa, which is really important.

on to sports: like a good little journalist, i frequently abstain from all that i really want to say about sports because i know my "audience." and by audience, i mean the 3 friends that actually check my blog + my mom and dad and sister (to whom i am having to constantly re-email the link to the blog because they always forget that it exists...it's called bookmarking! hello!). anyway, the reality is that i could spend a good amount of time talking about sports. if you were to ask me, at any given time of day, what i'm thinking about, it's probably one of the following: 1) dream team of former ksu football players 2) who i would start this year if i were coach snyder 3) my top 10 sporting events that i would love to attend in my lifetime 4) brett favre and ken griffey, jr (sorry, kirk, but i've had a massive sports crush on them for longer than i've known you, so...) and 5) how awesome it would be if frank martin was a teacher/administrator at my school. i'm sorry, it's who i am. but my "audience," as it were, is mostly family and college friends and a few other friends that are just nice. i feel like maybe these people just wants to read a little mendy-blog, not a sports-blog, so that is why i abstain (did you follow the stream of consciousness???).

anyway, today will be a sports-bloggy day, so if that is not your cup-o-blog, you should probably just.....keep reading because you are my friend and it's the nice thing to do. but you could also have your husband/boyfriend/sporty-wife/dad/sporty-sister read. i don't know, do what you want. i'm kinda funny and i'm cracking myself up right now. hahahaha.

ok, so nick wright (610 sports) was talking on today's "what's right with nick wright" show about the 9 components that make a super bowl-quality football team. if i were actually a good little journalist i would probably do a little research to find out if this is his idea or if he was commenting on someone else's "top 9" but i'm not really a journalist, i'm a teacher, so i did no research. the 9 components i think can also apply to bcs-quality teams in college football. they are as follows:

1. a top 8 QB

2. an above average offensive line

3. a premier running back

4. a reliable and accurate kicker (hello - martin gramatica - ksu football dream team!)

5. a standout secondary player in the defense

6. a standout defensive front 7 player

7. a defensive line that can stop the run

8. a coaching staff with an overall positive effect (not necessarily the same as a "good" coach - more emphasis on the effect of the whole staff on the dynamics of the team... probably "good" coaching is more important for college football purposes since there is so much teaching to be done)

9. a significant home field advantage

so, nick, being a good little journalist, had done the research, and went back over years of super bowl teams and found that, although no team ever had all 9 components, to be in contention they had at least 6 or 7. i'll take his word for it.

this little formula should make it really easy for athletic departments/NFL owners to evaluate their teams and say, "ok, what do we have that's solid? what are we developing? what do we need???" the chiefs, in all their blundering idiocy the past few years, are actually not too far off from having 6 of these 9 components. here's what we have pretty solidly (this is according to nick wright, but i found myself thinking the EXACT same things just before he said them...typical.): running back - jamal charles, kicker - succup (not too shabby), coaching staff - after the changes this off season - definitely a move in the right direction, home field advantage - arrowhead has always had a good fan base, even when they're in the depths of despair. so there's 4 of the 9.

then, we are close, but not quite there, on a few components: defense - brandon flowers? can he be that standout secondary guy? not sure. not no. but not yes either. and we drafted eric berry with the #5 pick this year, so there are high hopes, but he's not proven and he'll take some time to learn. i still think glenn dorsey could be the real thing on our D-line, he just had a little "issue" with the coaches last year and didn't get much early playing time. but when he did, he definitely stood out on defensive (in a good way). and then jackson is another defensive end. so, it's like, we could be ALMOST there with the secondary and defensive line standouts, but not quite there. once we're "there," that 6 of the 9.

finally, the major holes? offensive line and QB. those are two pretty major holes, if you ask me. i'm going to make the case that you have to have at least one of these two to be successful. i don't think your "6" components can be without both a QB and an O-line. so, in that regard, i don't think this little "6 of the 9" formula holds up, i guess. i mean, we've seen good, hall-of-fame QBs look hideous because they're constantly on their backs or running out of the pocket when that's not a strength (oh, my dear b favre, i hate to say it, but it's so true). and we've seen O-lines holding up the pocket all day long and QBs that can't make decisions or have no arm or throw flat or have bad footwork or crap for timing or whatever, so it doesn't really matter how much time they have. they could have all the time in the world and they're still eric crouch (oooh. little nebraska dig. hehe.) or jamarcus russell. it's just a heckuva lot of pressure on either of those 2 components if the other one stinks.

so, i guess i'm saying that the chiefs could have their 6 components, but i still don't see them being able to compete with the ravens/vikings/saints/colts for the duration of the season and throughout the playoffs, as long as they don't have either a good QB or a better O-line. truthfully, i think that O-line component should probably be worth two points. let's just go ahead and make it a 10-component list. if you have that O-line component, then you could get by with an average to above average QB (sorry, still not eric or jamarcus...they're the worst!). maybe matt cassel could look like a top 8 QB with the right O-line. but for now, this pairing doesn't do much for me and it sure doesn't do much for the chiefs trying to move forward. for this year, i guess we're going to have to hope that the addition of charlie weiss on the coaching staff will result in a huge (no pun intended), miraculous improvement in one or the other, or else we're going to be only a few shades of red and obnoxious-yellow different from last year's debacle of a team.

there's my rambling rant. i'll try to get back to flowers, decorating, gardening, reading, photos, and other mendy-bloggy things so that i don't lose my few friend-readers that i have out of sheer sports-talk induced coma boredom.

calling all photographers! or friends of photographers! or i'm-not-a-pro-but-i-think-i-take-good-photos photographers!

2010-07-08T15:27:00.008-05:00

i'm back from boulder, co and trying to catch up with my classwork (pics to come later this week...of boulder, not of my classwork). but, i'm taking a break from that to announce that it's time for the 2nd annual river to well photography competition! my buddy, ken, started this competition after we ventured to south africa in 2008. the competition is a blend of his passion for photography and his passion for africa. the proceeds go toward building wells in south african villages. check out the website to see last year's winners (including my honorable mention shot seen here ), find out more about the village where this year's well will be built, and to submit your own pics for the competition.

here are some of the shots i'm thinking of submitting this year, but can't decide. if you do read my blog, weigh in as to which shots you like best. first, there's this lovely graffiti shot from my trip to nyc last year on the right side of my blog here...i like it, but it seems kind of...already done, i guess. i feel like it's the cool thing to do, maybe. i don't want to be too cool, you know.

here are a few shots from a trip to chicago; this is the chicago tribune building (beautiful!). the color shot is the original + a little bit of editing to clean it up. the b & w is also cool, though...you decide.

here's a shot of my friend, ashley, laying out some sparkly lights. also have it in b & w. not sure if others get my point of view when i take shadow-y shots. i like them. but some people are like, "what?? i can't see what's going on here! why didn't you use flash!?" so, maybe it's just my personal taste.

here's another shot from south africa, the mother sitting in the doorway to escape the heat of the sun. i felt so lucky to get this shot, these are usually the types that i notice and try to capture but i'm too late!

here's a cool shot of the pier at coney island...lots of fun angles that i think make the picture interesting.

ok, so you guys weigh in...i'm too indecisive and biased because these are some of my "favorites." i'll probably submit three photos, so i need to narrow it down!

planting

2010-07-02T00:38:00.007-05:00

so, i realize that late june, early july is just about the WORST time to start planting flowers, but... well i did it anyway. i only have time to work on my yard during the summer and i spent the first month of summer stewing about what to plant and where and how would i avoid killing everything???? here's some pics of what i planted in the front little flower bed:

the lavender-looking plant is called russian sage...i really wanted to do a mix of lavender and thyme, but it's too late to find lavender anywhere and it can be rather persnickety so probably not a good idea for this fearful gardner. i planted about a bazillion marigolds because they are supposed to keep mosquitos at bay. ironically, i didn't think about the fact that peat moss (which we mixed in with the soil) attracts flies (because it's basically poo), so... one pest avoided, an infestation of the other. i'll learn. next time, i'll just mix sand into the soil. i think the roses are knock-out roses, but not sure. the tag said "easy-care" roses, which i'm pretty certain is not the latin name. hehe. they look like knock-out roses, right? and knock-out roses are very easy to care for.

leaving for boulder, co tomorrow so my friend shannon will be watching after the boys (cecil and percival) and the flowers. thanks, shannon!

i'm back!

2010-06-30T18:06:00.004-05:00

i've decided to take a cue from my friend, shannon d, and choose 15 random things to tell you all (you all...wishfully thinking that i still have some friends that occasionally check my blog to see if i'm still living) about my life in the months since i've fallen off the blog-wagon (hahahaha).

1. percival had a near-death experience but is back to his thriving percival-self minus a functioning tail. whew! kirk says he looks like snuffleupagus because his tail just kind of hangs. very sad.

2. i successfully survived my first year of teaching!

3. i am OBSESSED with the world cup. i've been watching as many games as possible and trying to pretend that i'm studying while i watch. i had to do a case study and conduct observations for an hour for one of my classes in an area of interest, so i decided to observe spain vs. portugal! i kept a stats sheet and wrote a research question about whether cristiano ronaldo is a "selfish" player. my hypothesis was that he would take more shots and have fewer assists than anyone else on his team. my hypotheses were correct.

4. i've "run" almost everyday since summer began. and by run i mean shuffle. me running + humidity = me not really running, per se.

5. i have not made much of a dent in my summer reading stack.

6. i planted flowers! and they are still living! mostly. i'll post pics soon!

7. i think i may have broken my finger in, like, march or february. it involved trying to carry too much to my car on my way to work at 6:00 am (ick), dropping things, trying to catch things, and jamming my finger in the process. so, i can't fit my rings on my finger anymore. sad. and it's still hard to grip things with my finger. i know i should go to my chiropractor to get it fixed, but now i'm just afraid he's going to have to re-break things which makes me want to vomit.

8. i'm getting a new camera! i don't know when, but i'm excited!

9. i have this problem when i run that my calves start to get really tight and then it starts to spread down to my achilles tendon area and across to my shins and it just becomes horrendously painful! i don't know what is going on. any runners out there, please tell me what to do! i've tried stretching better, using those band-y things to stretch my calves, eating potassium sources before or after the run, warming up for longer, altering my stride, new shoes, icing my shins, massage (ouch, that really hurt! having my shins massaged is NOT fun)...

10. i'm not losing any seniors this year, and i'm gaining something like 7 freshman! that's a whole lot of freshman! teachers, you know what i'm saying.

11. i'm getting a new classroom next year. it's bigger, which is good.

12. i had about 13 zillion things that i was saving for summer to do, or plan, or re-work, or fix, or whatever, and summer is just FLYING by. how does that happen?!?

13. resource books i've found very useful lately: garden anywhere by alys fowler, national geographic photography field guide, voices of protest by i can't remember who (for teaching), no time to garden by anne swithinbank, and runner's world complete book of running.

14. i have an antique dresser sitting in my basement waiting to be sanded and painted! as soon as that project is complete i'll post pics. trying to decide what direction to go with new hardware for the drawer pulls. the dresser is a short 2-drawer with a curved front. i'm painting it a bright, glossy yellow. suggestions for hardware??

15. i have been strangely silent on all things football, basketball, etc. and the formerly-big-12-but-still-called-big-12. mostly because i don't even know what to say. i hate texas now more than ever. they have quite a little dictatorship going. sassy move, nebraska. sassy.

i am the world's worst blogger...

2010-03-04T19:23:00.000-06:00

...ever.

this is SO me...

2010-01-09T14:34:00.004-06:00

we had a guest come to speak at our church a few weeks ago, isaac anderson, that gave a talk that was SO me that by the end i couldn't help but cry because it was so good to know that i'm not the only one that has the same neuroses. anyway, here's a link to the talk. it's about the idea that god made a decision to come near to me, and he continually makes that decision again and again. it's so good. anyway, it's about a half hour talk, but so worth it. if for nothing else it's a window into my mind. isaac starts talking at the 5:10 point.

isaac anderson - god is near

2009-12-21T12:37:00.012-06:00

kirk came to school with me last thursday to help me fix breakfast for my students and their families. we fixed pancakes, french toast, and bacon. it was a good time. kirk got to see a little window into my day. he says my students are very "energetic." we had a good turn out of families: 2 moms, a grandma, godfather and his grandson, aunt, and a case manager from the mental health center! here's a really sweet email i received from one of my students the next day:

"good morning just wonted to say thanks agin for breakfast this morning. and to tall you that my mom says thanx to. i wonted to say have a good weekend and a Marry Christmas and thanx for leting me talk to you when i needed to and for being so suppurtiv and for being a nice teacher to not just me to every 1 so Marry Christmas and t alk to you latter."

so, even though i'm TIRED and so ready for this break, this is what reminds me that i love my job!

in other news: i have been so looking forward to this break, partly to get a jump start on getting back in shape, starting to run again, hopefully getting back into the habit, etc. well, on day 1 of my break i'm playing indoor soccer and i step on the ball, turn my ankle and can't even WALK! to make matters worse, we didn't have any subs for the game, so i kept playing, on one foot. i was such a worthless team member! so, here's a pic of the ankle. the picture really doesn't do it justice. it's very purple and swollen. i think god has a sick sense of humor, thwarting my ambitious plans of getting back into shape over break. but really, who tries to get in shape BEFORE new years???

finals

2009-12-11T16:12:00.002-06:00

remember in college, when we would stay up all night to "study" for finals... really we were just watching movies, eating junk food, and cracking the occasional text book. how i miss those days. i just submitted my final project for one of my graduate classes and it was 25 pages long. ick. i'm tired of sitting and typing. and i think i have a callous on my right index finger from using the touchpad on my laptop. it feels good to be done. now i can party. yeah, who am i kidding?? i'll probably fall asleep on the couch by 8:00 tonight! ha!

5 work days until christmas break! woop woop!

good day today

2009-12-03T17:33:00.003-06:00

i know i've been a crappy blogger, but i don't think i've ever been this busy in my life! i think i've lost some of my multi-tasking capabilities because i used to be able to handle a lot of different things all at once and now i'm just WEARY. but anyway, today warranted a blog post because it was a good day.

my students read today for 10 whole minutes, completely SILENT. they only complained for a minute and then i set the oven timer and told them that i would let the timer run while they read. but if they talked or stopped reading i would stop the timer and they would just cut into their free time the longer it took to get back to reading. it totally worked. this may not seem like an accomplishment but i assure you, it is.

secondly, i have gotten 3 new students in the past 2 weeks. two of the three came from alternate "facilities" and let's just say that the transition back into a "normal" school should not be expected to go completely smoothly. one of the kids has been in and out of several different schools, foster homes, jail, running away from foster homes, and hasn't been in school for almost a year. he is really far behind as far as credits go and that's discouraging to go into classes with students that are several years younger than him and still not understand what's going on because he's been out of the school "habits" for a year. day one this kid tells me he's probably just going to drop out and if he wasn't in school he'd just be on the streets doing "illegal stuff." i didn't even see this kid for the first few days that he was supposed to be at school because instead of going to classes he decided to wander the halls all day to avoid class. i finally caught up with him one day and he ended up sitting with me and venting for an hour about how frustrating it is to try to get ahead with so much stacked up against him. the next day, he came to my class. ok, fast forward 2 weeks to today. he went to ALL of his classes today! by the end of the day he got frustrated in his last class and walked out but instead of walking the halls he came to me. i called his teacher to let her know he was with me and he ended up working with me on his science classwork. we learned the difference between power and work and how to find them using equations. we looked up Usain Bolt online and talked about how if Ms. Hutson raced Usain Bolt in the 100 meter dash that we would do the same amount of work (force x distance) even if i took WAY more time to finish. but since the equation for power factors in time (P = work/time), who would be more powerful? "Quit playin, Ms. Hutson. Bolt mo' powerful." i need you guys to understand how much i hate science, but i taught this kid some science today. i don't think Usain Bolt taught anyone science today.

anyway, i've gotten to where i can joke with this kid but also lay down the law when i need to. i gave him a stern look and gave him a little "mom" lecture about his girlfriend and school and whether he should drop out and get his GED...etc. then i stopped and said, "you know what? i'm not going to tell you what to do. if you want to talk to me, you're more than welcome, but i don't want you to feel like i'm in your business." he said, "Ms. Hutson, i like talkin' to you. people always trying to get me to talk to counselors, but i say, 'man, i need to talk to Ms. Hutson! don't need no counselors!'" later i heard him telling another student, "Ms. Hutson my savior, man. it weren't for her, i wouldn't be doing NOTHIN." that was huge. it was a good day.

good news/bad news

2009-10-13T17:44:00.003-05:00

let's start with the bad news: today i committed teacher suicide. i cried in front of my students. that is the absolute worst thing that a teacher could do, especially when your students are emotionally disturbed behavior disorder students that have not yet developed the ability to empathize. they angered me. they angered me so much so that tears welled up and then i knew it was downhill from there.

ok, moving on. good news: i won honorable mention for my photo here on the right ---->

"the council." my photo was one of the top 36 out of about 300 photos in the river to well photo competition to raise $ for drilling a well in South Africa. yay South Africans having water! yay winning awards! yay!

more on ksu football

2009-09-08T18:35:00.002-05:00

i know you've been waiting for it... my analysis of the ksu game to open the 2009 season. yes, i have a few opinions. first of all, let me say, i'm not disappointed. i feel like there's a lot to improve upon, but, as i mentioned in my previous ksu football post, that is a mark of a bill snyder team. so, we can pretty much guarantee that our boys in purple spandex will improve. simple thing to ask for, yet somehow so elusive in the prince years.

so, special teams: good at times. i felt like our tackling, getting downfield to cover the return game, was good. we made tackles on first contact. also an elusive skill last year. however, on kickoffs, the kicker has some decisions to make: as a kicker you have one of two jobs: either put the ball through the back of the end zone or hang it in the air for a significant enough hang time that the really fast guys can get downfield and tackle the guy with the ball as soon as he touches it. well, we did neither on saturday. our boy couldn't reach the end zone once. and when he tried to get it to the end zone by line driving the ball all he did was prevent the special teams from making a tackle below the 20 yard line.

i thought our offense did ok. yeah we made some mistakes, yeah we turned it over a couple of times, yeah we had almost no passing game. here's why i'm not worried about those things yet. one, coffman was nervous. that'll work itself out. two, we have some insurance in our back up QB, he's fast, he's a runner, and he's a bill snyder type of QB. three, we ran the option! i know, i know. but i love the option. and we ran it pretty well. i think coffman has a good feel for the option and i think we have the players to pull it off. four, we WILL have a passing game... it just wasn't there last saturday. we will have tight end options and brandon banks will not always have a bad game, like he did last week. he was rough last week, no doubt. that will not always be the case. fifth, our running game was good. and we pretty much ONLY ran it up the middle, but we still dropped over 200 yards on UMass. we had a good team of backs and we really didn't even use our fullback option. snyder is notorious for not showing all of his cards up front. we ran a limited number of plays and we will add to our repertoire as the season progresses. the turnovers will clean up as the season progresses. i feel ok about offense.

defense, to be honest, didn't stand out one way or the other. the times that UMass scored were odd occasions, once on a special teams play and once after a quick turn around. the only score their offense truly earned was a field goal. we gave up a few big plays, but we also held them to a field goal in the red zone. i give us a passing grade.

as i mentioned in my earlier post, i'm not discouraged because i don't think we are going to peak here. it's unlike a snyder team to allow these same mistakes to continue to happen. i think we had a lot to learn from from saturday's game which is all you can ask for in a non-conference game.

2009-09-03T23:41:00.003-05:00

my response to an email from a friend giving me a hard time about ksu football. he asks me about my opinion of bill snyder returning to coach at kstate and if the hall of fame will not only wait, but never materialize as a result. i said:

snyder cannot coach himself out of the hall. brett favre will still be a hall of famer despite the lunacy of his present choices. bill and brett can't undo the amazing things they have done in the past, no matter how much of a circus they decide to let their careers turn into in the future. bill snyder took a team that was ranked 113 (out of 112 teams... no lie. Wichita State University had an accidental higher ranking in football than KSU in the late '80's... accidental because WSU did not have a football team at the time... [is that really true, or is it a tale of legend and lore??? oh well. it works for making my point]). he led them to 16 successful seasons, a #1 ranking, and BCS bowl games. that's incredible no matter what happens in the upcoming seasons. it is still known as one of the best turn arounds in history. that won't change.

as for how things will go in the new snyder era: this is why i am not counting him out:

1. a mark of a bill snyder team is discipline, fundamentals, and more discipline. that is what KSU is lacking, so increasing the discipline can only lead to improvement.

2. another mark of a bill snyder team is progressive, even if slow, improvement. one thing you always could count on was improvement from one season to the next, one game to the next, and one quarter to the next. snyder's teams climbed the rankings each season and with each game. ron prince's team did the opposite. ron prince had a game plan that involved a lot of trick plays that surprised teams, even really good teams (UT), in the first half of a game. but he made no halftime adjustments and his teams became increasingly worse as the 2nd half droned on. they made more and more mental mistakes, penalties, predictable plays that led to turnovers... these things are rare with a bill snyder team. i expect that, even if our record does not indicate as such, we will see marked improvement as the season progresses and i'm ok with that for this season and maybe next.

3. and this is why i think bill will be able to have "success" in upcoming seasons (whether that's bowl eligibility, big 12 north champions, or...), bill does not have to be the best or strongest "link" on the field. he has brought in some amazing coaches to his staff including the offensive coordinator from last year's successful utah team and jo bo clements from ku. bill knows that his teams are only as strong as the coaches around him. he does not try to make himself bigger by keeping everyone around him "small time." there are a lot of big time coaches that were assistants under snyder before and he's staying with that pattern. he knows that he's older and up against a lot of odds... again. he knows what it's like to be in this position. in fact, he's dug himself out of even deeper holes before and he did it by bringing in strength and talent in the coaches around him. ron prince was afraid of bigger and better talent on the coaching staff. this threatened him. he had to make himself the central element and the strongest link and he did not have a coaching staff to fall back on when his inexperience showed.

4. part of ksu's problem has been really poopy (not the word i used originally, but i'm censoring myself) ADs since the previous bill snyder era. snyder will not go for this. he will demand excellence on that level as he does with his coaches and he has the clout to make it happen. for f-s (really did just say f-... not the actual word) sake, he's the reason we have a damn (not really that bad of a word... right?) equestrian team. in the early '90's before ksu football brought in a profit, bill demanded an indoor practice facility and stadium renovations. this was before anyone knew what he was capable of doing and everyone thought he was a crazy man for those demands. but, he knew that is what it would take to build a program that could compete and to bring in recruits... and it worked. he knows how to get it done.

i can't make any predictions about what bill snyder will do, but there's comfort in knowing that this is how he will build the program. snyder loves being the underdog. he really has nowhere to go but up and no one is paying any attention to ksu this year. this is perfect for him to be able to teach and coach and turn things around gradually.

first days of school

2009-08-25T18:42:00.004-05:00

first week of school:

*getting up at 4:50 every morning, leave the house by 6:00 am. i'm kinda proud of myself for that.

*i've had a work order to get my phone in my classroom fixed for three weeks.

*we have a paper shortage. budget cuts = paper shortage. this is ok with me as i am trying to be environmentally conscious anyway. but, it's just a reality for schools this year. it's not just paper either. teacher shortages too. most of the teachers have 30+ students in their classes. i've spent several hundred dollars in the past month on supplies, posters, and books, BOOKS for my room. i am determined that my kids will READ in my class. if you've not been in a school in the past 5 years you have no idea how difficult this simple goal is to achieve. i'll be danged (i edited myself!) if my kids don't read a gosh-darn fleeping book in my class. i told my kids that they may not like it, but we're doing it, and by this time next year they'll know that in Ms Hutson's class you're gonna read a book!

*evacuation. wednesday we had to evacuate the building because of a diesel leak. we spent 1 1/2 hours in the school's football stadium with the entire staff and student body until buses came to take the kids home. we didn't get back into the school until friday. first week of school.

i'm not going to lie, my kids are tough. i'm the third case manager they've had in 3 years and right now they could care less about me. it makes sense. they have no reason to trust me, take me for my word, believe me... that all takes time. you can't just walk in and start talking about how much you care about them. i told them on day one: things you should know about me: i am not the enemy. i know you don't know me, so you don't know if you can believe that or not, but i'm not the enemy. i'm not looking to "get" you. i don't enjoy that. but there's right and wrong and we're going to work on some things. if i have to talk to you about something, you're not in trouble, you're LEARNING. i won't assume anything about you. i won't judge you. also, i'm not perfect. you want me to give you a break from time to time? you gotta give me a break too. i have bad days, i'll make mistakes. but i'll always own them and apologize when i've been wrong. the hard part with my kids is that until they decide to respond to me, until they decide i'm the real deal and they can work with me, i can't force their hands. one student told me i'm doing ok so far. hey. i'll take it.

guys, seriously. it's like every inner-city school movie you've ever seen. please pray that i'll just love these kids well, if that's the only thing i do.

p.s. read the post from yesterday about river to well. take photos. submit them. build a well in south africa. give people fresh water.

photo competition!!!!

2009-08-24T16:43:00.003-05:00

Hey friends. Don't forget about the River To Well photo competition that I think all of my photographically-inclined friends should enter! You can submit photos online (save on the cost of printing photos and postage) and all of the funds go toward building a well in a South African village in a region that was hit hard by last year's typhoid outbreak. The competition has student, amateur, and professional levels, so there's NO EXCUSES to not enter your photos. DEADLINE IS SEPTEMBER 15!! Here's the link to the competition website: www.rivertowell.com

I'm planning on submitting a few photos, some of which have been featured on this blog. In fact, why don't you weigh in on which photos are your favorites. Go to the right side of the blog and click on my previous blog entries that are under the "photos" label and scan through and let me know which photos are your favorites and that you want me to submit.

school!

2009-08-13T19:41:00.005-05:00

well, students show up tomorrow! yikes. i am super nervous. i feel like i've been trying to sip from a fire hydrant that is opened full blast. there is so much information, so much that i'm expected to know already, and i'm really nervous about how the students will respond to me. all to be expected, i suppose. the two most stressful things in a teacher's career are the first year of teaching and adjusting to a new district... i'm doing both this year. i feel like i know a storm is approaching and i can't avoid it but i am just hoping to weather the storm. i know that it's going to be busy, stressful, uncomfortable, confusing and scary for a little while but if i can just get through these first few months, i'll start to settle in a bit. here's some pics of my classroom.

i'll be teaching social development skills to kids with emotional and behavioral disorders. most of the office referrals from last year came from kids in my caseload, specifically the class that i teach. i'll also be working in an intervention room to help students with academic and behavioral problems that come up during their gen ed classes. and, finally, i will have my family advocacy group, which are kids that i will have close communication with everyday, close connections to their families, and help them stay on track with their goals, graduation requirements, etc.

nyc

2009-07-22T09:30:00.008-05:00

i just got back from visiting my brother and sister in new york! my mom and i left last friday and stayed until yesterday and we packed A LOT of action into one weekend. if you've been to new york you know how it seems like you don't accomplish very much but you stay REALLY busy because half of the time and energy is spent on walking, subway, walking, pushing through crowds, sweaty subway stations, packed trains, walking, crashing into more people, standing in lines, walking, sweating....

hears a rundown of activities and some pics: short plays, sushi, shopping at the Strand bookshop, Mary Poppins on Broadway, Harry Potter, Indian food, Coney Island, Brooklyn, Times Square, 72nd and Amsterdam, Italian food, clothes shopping, massages in Chinatown (I conversed in Chinese with the masseuses! I still remember a little bit from the 2 weeks I was there!), great restaurants, etc.

river to well photo competition

2009-07-08T19:58:00.008-05:00

so, after we got back from South Africa last december, our buddy, Ken, decided to create a photo competition to raise money to build a well in one of the villages we visited in the Limpopo (Northern) region. This is a region that was hit by the cholera outbreak that struck southern Zimbabwe last year and spread down into northern SA. We had the chance to visit several villages and churches/schools in the region during our trip. Below are some photos from the region and the village where the well will be built:

So, check out this website: www.rivertowell.com to see about the competition. I have LOTS of friends that are great photographers, so I hope you guys submit some photos! There's different levels and different categories, so everyone can contribute a photo!

goodbye waterdeep

2009-06-02T20:27:00.006-05:00

on saturday, don and lori had their final waterdeep show in the KC area before moving to nashville. they asked kirk to run sound (he's become a bit of a regular go-to guy for them lately), which is just a bittersweet, full-circle thing for him. it's kind of his dream job to run sound for them, and just when he's become a trusted person they know to call on, they move on. i know it was a little sad for him.

i should say, it was a little sad to me, too. their music has been the part of my life, like i'm sure it has for many of you, that allows me to be who i am with all the rough edges and dirty, dark corners. their persistent honesty and raw lyrics make me feel like i belong with christ, like there's room for someone like me. they don't clean it up, make it nice, package it just so. i feel at home with their words. there are a few significant things in my life that have allowed me to truly experience the gospel, the good news of grace and mercy: waterdeep, sara groves, brennan manning's writing (e.g. ragamuffin gospel), cs lewis, being married to kirk, and working with kids that are as rough on the outside as i am inside (and sometimes outside!).

so, thanks don and lori. (and sara, brennan, clive, kirk, etc....)

funny percival story

2009-06-02T20:10:00.005-05:00

so, cecil's brother, percival, is just the sweetest, most playful cat. taking a cue from my friend tiff, i have a litany of cute-sy nicknames for him: percy, muffin, muffin-face, biscuit, smudger (i don't know), etc.

anyway, he got into a little scrape a while back and had a gash on his arm. he never seemed to be bothered by it (because he's just a sweet cat, so playful), no limping, no cringing when i touched his arm; i thought i would just let it heal and skip the vet. well, it wasn't healing, so finally i took him to the vet and found out it had got infected. i know, gross. anyway, antibiotics didn't help, so finally, we had to take him in to cut away the infected part and stitch him up. traumatic.

kirk dropped him off in the morning, they put him under, shaved him and stitched him up. later that day i went to pick him up. i just felt so awful, his arm looked horrible and the stitches ran the length of his arm! i was looking at him and i noticed that his whiskers had been shaved! here's the conversation (my thoughts are in italics):

"what happened to his whiskers?" i said to the vet.

"what do you mean?" said the vet to me.

"his whiskers have been cut."

"i don't know what you're talking about." (what the - ?! how can you not see this?!)

"look. half of his whiskers are gone!"

"well, we didn't do that." (WHAT THE - ?! who says that??)

"well i certainly didn't do it. when we brought him in this morning, he had whiskers!"

"well, we didn't cut his whiskers." (i want his whiskers back! give them to me NOW!)

well, see for yourself. the shaver-guy must have been on drugs. i nearly asked for a discount on account of his whiskers being shaved.

big announcement

2009-05-17T14:38:00.006-05:00

i know it's been forever since i blogged and there is a reason for that. the only thing that is going on in my life right now is that i've been trying to get a job. i reinstated my teaching license last fall and am eligible to teach special ed while i'm completing my masters. however, this is a stupid time to try to get a job with the state of the economy and schools facing cut backs. so, it's been a long process with lots of disappointing closed doors, which is why i haven't wanted to say anything about it until now.

i hoped to stay in lawrence, as it has been my home for 4 years as a para. i live only a few blocks from the school, have 4 years of relationships established with the teachers and the students, and it's familiar. but, to cover my bases (and due to rumors that lawrence was facing cuts in teaching positions) i also applied in the KCK school district. those of you who know me well know that i've always wanted to teach in an urban school with a diverse population. well, i was called in for an interview with a sped person from the KCK district about a month ago. the interview went well and my name was passed along to a few building principals to consider for a second interview. instead of a second interview, i was offered a job 2 days later!

since then, my application had to approved by the school board and i had to complete some preliminary paperwork so i've been waiting until i had the contract IN MY HAND before i really made the official announcement. i just couldn't face telling everyone that i'd been offered a job and then have the district cut my position or something else happen, so i waited.

anyway, i'm really excited about the job! i will be an Emotional Disturbance (used to be Behavior Disorder - the so-called "bad kids" that struggle to succeed in traditional school settings) teacher at Washington High School in KCK. it is definitely an urban school facing all of the usual challenges, but there are a lot of exciting things that the school and the district is willing to give a try in order to see their students succeed. i will have my own classroom, which i'm excited about (may not seem like a big deal, but it's not always a guarantee for sped teachers). i've got a lot of ideas for how to decorate! once i get all set up, i'll take some pics of my classroom and post them! i will be co-teaching part of the day in general ed classes (probably math, social studies, maybe english, hopefully not science!) and then i will have both studies skills and social development classes of my own to teach.

oh, by the way, i will be tripling my yearly salary that i've been earning as a para. yeah.

anyway, look for my summer reading list sometime in the next couple of weeks. i just have to get through the next week and a half of school and then i will be a more rested, lively version of myself!

random questions

2009-04-10T21:45:00.005-05:00

my friend laura always finds these surveys with the greatest questions, so i stole some of the questions off of her blog. i'm not going to lie, i chose only the questions for which i had witty answers because i like to edit myself so that i appear to be more awesome than i really am.

1. Song that always makes you sad? ok, maybe it's just me... but i love a good "sad" song because the lyrics are usually really honest and it makes me feel like less of a freak show! so, i can't really think of many songs that truly make me sad... although country songs usually make me sad just because they're awful. sorry, country fans.

2. Last person you argued with? a student tried to argue with me about why i wouldn't "help" her (translation: give her the answers) on a test. so, i stole her student planner, flipped to the "rules and regulations" page and wrote at the top, "MENDY IS ALWAYS RIGHT" and told her that it was the #1 rule at LHS, so, sorry, guess there's no arguing with me. i don't think she thought it was as hilarious as i did.
3. Do you put Peanut Butter before putting the jelly on? totally. otherwise the jelly makes the bread soggy... peanut butter is a buffer.
4. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid? Lamb-y. it was a stuffed lamb. i was really creative with my naming process.
5. T.V. show you secretly enjoy? i'm not terribly embarrassed by any shows that i watch... i am, however, embarrassed that i am sitting at home on a friday night blogging and watching The Masters... The Masters... really? and this after taking a 3 hour nap when i got home from work. i think i actually skipped my 30th birthday and went straight to 84.
6. Would you rather play basketball or hockey? i love basketball. in my imagination i was always a really great player, but then it never seemed to translate into actual physical talent.
7. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem? i'm with you, Laura, i can't even make it past the first 2 words... O Canada, dum da di dum di da... seriously, what are the words?
8. Favorite Cheese? all of them? eww, except gorgonzola. bleh, it tastes like sick.
9. Did you go to your high school prom? oh prom. hideous bridesmaidal dress (yeah, i made that word up), awful "dyeables" shoes from payless (ugly AND uncomfortable), do-it-yourself hair-do, and an AWFUL sunburn from a soccer game earlier that day (shin guard lines and sleeves lines don't really flatter)
10. Do you use your queen right away in chess? no, and i've yet to win a game. so, i'm no prodigy.
11.Ever been in a car accident? yes. and it was my fault, which sucks even more. side note: i've also backed into a police car. kirk and i have also both backed into the same exact car belonging to a total stranger on two totally separate occasions. i know.
12. Closer to mom or dad...or neither? both. i think my mom is "close" to everyone she's ever had a conversation with. she has this way of drawing people out and having deep heartfelt conversations with just everyone. dad and i are sports pals. and rolling-our-eyes-at-mom pals. dad and i tend to have the same exact spiritual thought processes. mom and i read the same books and love the same movies. my family never really lacks for things to talk about. i'm sure you are all shocked.
13. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager? i would never have survived any era when girls were supposed to be LADIES. i think i would have been a quite rebellious '50's teenager! yeah, the '90's were probably the best fit... you could get away with wearing t-shirts, baggy flannel shirts, baggy jeans. anything earlier than the '60's and i would have had to wear dresses and skirts. nope.

14. Were you in track and field? my track career was short-lived. i did summer track club in 4th grade. while waiting for mom to pick me up from practice one day i decided to practice hurdles on this little chain fence. i think we see where this is going. caught my foot, face-planted, looked around to see if anyone saw me. kirk has a great pole-vaulting story, you should as him about it sometime.
15. Baseball hat or toque? what in the world is a toque?? i like baseball hats, but hair's a little poofy for them.
16. Have you thrown up on a plane? yeah. but only thing i'd had was oj, so... it was flying into NYC... i think flying so low over the tall buildings made me wretch.
17. Have you thrown up in a car? not that i remember. i'm not generally a puker.
18. Have you thrown up at work? no. but i make puking noises when i see kids sucking face in the halls. seriously. it seems to be more effective than asking them to stop.
19. Who was your first prom date? ha ha. ryan aylward. michelle's cousin's husband. awkward. point of clarification: he was not anyone's husband when he went to prom with me. i did have a really huge crush on him. but he was just a really great friend. i was really good at being "friends" with guys, i think it was the sports thing. anyone else remember that hated phrase, "you're just a really great friend?" bleck.
20. Who was your first roommate? the browning house girls.
21. What was your first job? I Can't Believe It's Yogurt. great name. it was a popular choice for all the "Classy Cats" dancers that went tanning next door. they always ordered large, non-fat vanilla, with candy bar toppings. i never quite understood the purpose of the non-fat vanilla in all of that.
22. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? Carrie, and yes, we're still friends! we were an unlikely pair. the first time we met was when i moved to the neighborhood when i was 5 and she was 6. she rode up to me on this brown bmx bike (she was a total girly-girl which made the choice of bicycles even more ironic) and asked if i wanted to ride with her. her definition of "riding" was to shuffle along with her feet on the ground instead of pedaling. we were always together after that. we had our own weird little way of talking with each other. her mother thought we were retarded. yeah, she actually used the word retarded. hilarious.
23.Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? kirk. poor guy.
24. What was the first concert you attended? DC Talk and Michael W Smith. yeah. i was a cool christian.
25. First tattoo or piercing? the cartilage of my ear. lost a bet. made Todd go with me (he was the winner of the bet) because i am a chicken.

26. First celebrity crush? ahh, ralph maccio (wait. was that his name???). karate kid. christian bale has been my longest running celeb crush (going strong ever since Newsies)

frozen

2009-03-29T01:43:00.005-05:00

here's a few shots from our yard this morning. may i remind you that it is almost april??? god knows that i am trying to grow things (other than weeds) in my yard and he is trying to thwart me, i know it. god smote my yard.

(side note...kirk doesn't like that i didn't capitalize "god"... don't be offended... i don't capitalize anything. it's not that i am ignorant of these basic conventions... or that i'm trying to minimize god... i'm just lazy. i don't think god minds.)

anyway, much like my yard, i am feeling a little "frozen." i see so many people my age that seem to have a real zest for life, pursuing their dreams, discovering themselves and their gifts for the first time, deepening their relationships with each other and with god... i feel very much on the outside of this phenomenon. it's nobody's fault but my own, i suppose. i don't know, did anyone else find that turning 30 left you feeling unmotivated, disappointed, and a smidge hopeless?? i have to believe it's not just me.

i'm just not responding to life, aging, change, the unknown, very well. i know what type of person i would want to be, i know what kinds of qualities i want to be characterized by, i know what kinds of activities i want to spend my time on... but this "mendy" is so far from the actual mendy. i told kirk tonight that i feel discouraged by how much it would take to "right the ship."

a quote from henri nouwen that i read recently that i found to be encouraging to me: "keep returning to the road of freedom: when suddenly you seem to lose all you thought you had gained, do not despair. your healing is not a straight line. you must expect setbacks and regressions. don't say to yourself, 'all is lost. i have to start all over again.' this is not true. what you have gained, you have gained... try to think instead as being pulled off the road for a while. when you return to the road, you return to the place where you left it, not to where you started."

this is important to me, as i need to remember that tomorrow is a fresh opportunity to begin anew, to begin doing things that make me feel alive, even if i failed to do them yesterday (like running, praying, connecting with close friends, pursuing kirk, loving people, loving my students, being patient with co-workers, eating healthy food, serving people other than myself and for no personal gain, reading, taking photos, playing the piano, getting plenty of sleep, waking up early, listening to music, etc).

well. those are my thoughts.

grody

2009-02-23T11:04:00.005-06:00

i used the word "grody" for the first time since perhaps 4th grade the other day. i don't even know how to spell it. but, i used it in reference to myself. i got sick on friday, so suddenly and so dramatically that i have not left my house since friday afternoon. i showered today for the first time since thursday (yeah, i went to work and didn't shower on friday, so what?). that was the longest that i had been standing up since i was at work on friday. i have gone through a box and a half of tissue and a roll of toilet paper since saturday morning. there is only one word to describe me: grody.

p.s. i am getting ready to venture out of the house for the first time in four days...don't be too impressed. i am going to dillons to get some meds. i live a block from dillons. and i'm not wearing a bra.

finally...the third and final leg of our SA trip...the Transkei

2009-02-15T13:08:00.011-06:00

Thanks to my new computer (remember the "blue screen of death?" It proved to be the catalyst for buying a new mac!), I am finally able to tell you about the final leg of our trip to SA. After our time in Jo-burg, we flew down to East London, where we were met by Daniel and Kristi on Thanksgiving day. They are from the KC/Wichita area and have been serving in the coastal region of SA with an organization called Oceans of Mercy. Their purpose is to feed children, but that job can have many different faces. Kristi keeps a wonderful blog that you should check out from time to time as she describes their experiences. http://kristiapplesauce.typepad.com/kristi/

The region that we visited is called the Transkei. It was one of the 10 tribal homelands that SA was divided into during Apartheid. It was a "dumping ground" for Xhosa people that the white people did not want in the cities. It still is one of the most uneducated, impoverished areas of SA.

We were able to see a few types of ministries dedicated to feeding children up close from the "other side." We observed the benefits and challenges that Daniel and Kristi face in trying to feed kids in the most reliable, consistent way possible without giving handouts and stripping the people of their dignity. They constantly ask themselves how they can help people to learn to feed themselves and become self-sustaining without trying to "americanize" them.

One of the villages we visited, called Bukwini, has a child sponsorship partnership with a church in the States. The council maintains a list of needy children and families and prioritizes the "most" needy when a new sponsor becomes available. The money provides a monthly food parcel with basic like milk, mealie, oil, sugar, etc. as well as clothing for school. We visited on a day when the food was being delivered, sorted into parcels, and distributed to the guardian of the child that is being sponsored. There are challenges, though, like having to say "no" to giving away food on a whim (food depends on the number of sponsors) and knowing that once the food is distributed there is not a guarantee that it will go where it is supposed to go. It was good for us to see these challenges up close.

We also visited a village where Daniel and Kristi have helped a woman to run a daycare. At this daycare, Mama Christina is able to feed kids two healthy meals a day, store their school clothes and shoes in cubbies to keep them in good shape for longer, and teach the children. Mama Christina was recently trained on how to keep a garden and now she is teaching her daycare kids to do the same so that they will have this skill as adults. Also, she is a rocking soccer coach! She has a team that competes with other area villages and these boys are awesome! We played around with them for a few hours and they were clearly superior!

We learned a ton from our time with Daniel and Kristi. They are also doing a lot of work to train people in basic first aid and nutrition to help lessen the effects of HIV/AIDS. Read Kristi's blog for more on that!

cecil adventures...funny story...even if you are dog person

2009-02-07T12:15:00.005-06:00

so, cecil is a rather social cat. all of our neighbors know him and regularly report to us about his visits to their yard or porch. during the summer, he comes home every evening smelling of bbq because he frequents all of the neighborhood cookouts. he's quite popular.
anyway, due to cecil's roamings we have a little collar and a tag that says "CECIL" and my phone number on it. the other day, cecil came home in the evening with a piece of masking tape on his collar. on the tape was written, "i think every dish is mine" with a smiley face. "oh no," i thought, "cecil's pilfering from a neighbor's cat dish again." there's nothing i can really do about this. i mean, if you put catfood outside, you can't really be surprised that it becomes a community dish, right? i figured if the mystery sticky note person was really offended by cecil's behaviors then they could call me.

next day, cecil comes home with a new note attached to the collar. this time it says, "cecil t catt at facebook." we looked on facebook and, yes, cecil now has a facebook page. courtesy of a neighbor that has been wooed by his cecil-ness. i don't have a facebook page but my cat does. he doesn't even have thumbs, but he has a facebook page. hilarious.

so if any of you facebook-ers want to "friend" my cat you may do so. cecil t catt.

final installment of the south africa trip...coming soon!

2009-01-29T08:52:00.002-06:00

so i'm sure all of my 5 blog readers are sitting by their computers eagerly awaiting the post and the pictures regarding the 3rd and final leg of our south africa trip (which was 2 months ago!!!), so put your minds at ease...it is coming soon!

i actually had the entire thing typed up and pictures were in the process of uploading a week ago and before i could publish the post the "blue screen of death" appeared on our computer. i don't really have a technical term for what happened at that moment but just know that i was not pleased. our computer is moving at a snail's pace. kirk is in the process of fixing this problem but until he does, i cannot easily update our blog. i am currently typing this post from the computers at school. yeah, blogging at work...don't judge.

so, please continue to check my blog! don't give up on me!!!

johannesburg and surrounding townships (second leg)

2008-12-31T11:22:00.008-06:00

After spending about 4 days in the Northern Region (Limpopo), we returned to Johannesburg to spend a few days with Pastor Isaac and his family. It was an 8 hour bus ride with no air-conditioning. And it was nearly summertime. Yuck. I remember handling it quite well, with little complaining. Of course, Kirk says that I repeatedly said every half hour, "I'm handling this pretty well, don't you think?" Well, memory can be subjective.

Jo-burg was the eye of the storm during the Apartheid protests that finally led to the downfall of Apartheid. The white Afrikaans government had divided the country of South Africa into ten "independent" Tribal Homelands to which all the black and mixed race South Africans were assigned. People were forcibly removed from their homes to live in remote tribal lands, so that the best areas with the most opportunities could be reserved for the whites. The townships surrounding Jo-burg sprouted up as squatter camps, ghettos with tin and brick shacks as far as the eye can see, for blacks that worked in the cities (often as servants to whites). Blacks were not allowed to live in the city or the nicer suburbs. I knew of Apartheid before visiting South Africa, but have learned so much more about it from reading Kaffir Boy, the autobiography of Mark Mathabane in case anyone is interested in learning more.

During our time in Jo-burg we stayed with Pastor Isaac's family and spent our days walking through the township of Kathlehong, visiting a daycare for AIDS orphans, visiting HIV/AIDS patients in their homes, attending a home church in the township, and attending Isaac's church. One of the AIDS victims that we visited, Maria, was confined to laying on a mat on the floor of her mother's house, barely able to lift her hand to greet us. It was her 37th birthday that day. We were overwhelmed by our inability to do anything for her. On our way home, Isaac suggested that we stop at the grocery store to buy her a cake, cokes, and a card. We were so excited for the chance to celebrate her life! That evening we returned with the cake. Her mother saw us coming and began to weep. Later she told Isaac that when she saw us approaching, she thought, "who is my daughter?" We sang "Happy Birthday" to Maria and told her mother to invite the neighbors for cake and cokes. How simple it is to love people!
We also drove through Soweto, an infamous township where many protests took place. This is the first place that the government has begun to make improvements, so Kathlehong was actually in worse condition. I am realizing more and more just how rare it was for us to stay in the home of a black South African, and to walk the streets of Kathlehong as friends and brothers and sisters, not as oppressors that would exploit the people and the land. One younger man approached Kirk and told him how glad he was that we had come to the township and that were not afraid to be there. There is still much segregation there and it is one of the few countries in Africa where there is a democracy, an economy, an infrastructure, and yet directly across the street people are suffering, malnourished, and impoverished.

more pics from limpopo (1st leg)

2008-12-17T16:48:00.009-06:00

here are some more pics highlighting our time in the Limpopo region (villages of Moshagka, Dhambe, Mpaghane, Rabothatha, and Rampinyane).

pre-school graduation//dusty game of soccer after church//the south african "baby bjorn"//prayerful moment at Moshagka church

children at church service//villagers from Rabothatha (the village at the very top of the mountain...the most energetic, dancing church we visited (see pictures from previous post)//a quiet moment at the church at Moshagka

herd of cape buffalo after crossing the road//a giraffe busy eating//a male kudu