we had a guest come to speak at our church a few weeks ago, isaac anderson, that gave a talk that was SO me that by the end i couldn't help but cry because it was so good to know that i'm not the only one that has the same neuroses. anyway, here's a link to the talk. it's about the idea that god made a decision to come near to me, and he continually makes that decision again and again. it's so good. anyway, it's about a half hour talk, but so worth it. if for nothing else it's a window into my mind. isaac starts talking at the 5:10 point.